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minds that they want to marry each other, it is the immediate duty of the man to go to the girl's father or her guardian, and ask his consent. If her father refuses, the engagement cannot exist. The man must then try, through work or other proof of stability and seriousness, to win the father's approval. Failing in that, the young woman is faced with dismissing him or marrying in opposition to her parents. There are, of course, unreasonable and obdurate parents, but it is needless to point out that a young woman assumes a very great risk who takes her future into her own hands and elopes
Usually, however, when the young man enters the study or office of her father, the latter has a perfectly good idea of what he has come to say and, having allowed his attentions, is probably willing to accept his daughter's choice.
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surprise a lady whose relatives have been asking her for years if the two of them were ever getting married, and who may even have been asking the question herself. However, valiant tries are made. Romantic trips provide the scenery, and a hidden ring (preferably not hidden in something the lady goes ahead and drinks) is the prop. The truth is that surprise was never a successful element of the proposal. Ladies who blushed and protested that they had never thought of such a thing (but would start doing so right away) were merely meeting expectations.
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back into shock, giving you the opportunity to perform the next step, while you are still holding the box. 4. Say "I can't live without you. Will you marry me?" Got that? Not "I think we might make a go of it," or "My mother says she's tired of her friends asking when we're getting married," or "I've talked to my tax consultant, and I think we can get married without getting hit too badly." 5. Open the box, take her hand and put the ring on her finger. 6. Congratulations. You are now engaged.
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If a young man and his parents are very close friends it is more than likely he will already have told them of the seriousness of his intentions. Very possibly he has asked his father's financial assistance, or at least discussed ways and means, but as soon as he and she have definitely made up their
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1. Arrange the lady on a sofa. 2. Kneel in front of her. That should put her into shock. If she is still able to talk and says something like, "What do you think you're doing?" simply smile mysteriously. 3. Pull out of your pocket a small velvet box with an engagement ring inside. That should put her
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Now that weddings have become drama festivals, the marriage proposal has turned into a pageant that serves as the curtain raiser. Unlike the main events, this has a sole producer, the future bridegroom, and what he is supposed to produce is—a surprise. Miss
Manners can imagine that it is not easy to
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The majority of the proposals in this study contained five elements. Three were found in every proposal: (1) the man asking the woman to marry him, (2) the man presenting the woman a ring, and (3) the man orchestrating the proposal as a "surprise." Another element, the man getting down on one knee,
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A universal element in the proposals of heterosexual couples we interviewed was that the proposer was the male member of the couple and the audience was the female member. Breaking this rule, as only the female member can do, did not result in an official engagement. Another woman twice asked her
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Tradition dictates that men are expected to play the active role of initiating the proposal, while women are expected to adopt a passive and reactive role (Schweingruber, Anahita, & Berns, 2004). Although in some
European countries – such as Finland and Ireland – there is the custom that women
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The proposal itself is often supposed to be a surprise, although in practice this is rarely actually the case. Surveys have found that most proposals are not surprises, and most wedding engagements begin with a conversation in which the parties mutually agree to wed.
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Same-gender couples, to whom gendered proposal traditions do not apply, usually keep some elements of customary ritual while altering others. In some cases, there may be multiple proposals, and each partner may propose to the other.
159:, and these customs are still sometimes practiced in the modern day. Even when the decision to marry is made by the couple, it may not be communicated between them directly; for instance, in the traditional Japanese custom of
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Asking the father for his daughter's hand may have been superfluous—as a gentleman of Miss
Manners' acquaintance replied in similar circumstances, "Why not? You've already had the rest of her"—but you nevertheless found it
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In response to the demand created by this cultural shift, jewelry companies have begun to advertise engagement rings for men. Nevertheless, proposals by women may not be taken seriously or treated as "real" proposals.
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Proposals by women are increasingly accepted in
Western culture, with most Americans approving of the practice, although the vast majority of proposals in the United States are still made by men. Similarly, in
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Before proposing, a man traditionally privately asks permission from the father of the woman he hopes to marry. When practiced in the modern day, this is usually understood as a formality.
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boyfriend to marry her and even gave him a ring. He wore the ring but did not take her proposals seriously. The couple did not consider themselves engaged until he asked her to marry him.
199:(also known as 'blessing an engaged couple' or 'declaration of intention'), which often includes prayer, Bible readings, blessing of engagement rings, and a blessing of the couple.
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was found in 17 of the 20 proposals. The final element, the man asking permission of the woman's father, was found in 12 of the 20 proposals.
807:
Schweingruber, D; Anahita, S; Berns, N (2004). "'Popping the
Question' When the Answer Is Known: The Engagement Proposal as Performance".
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Schweingruber, D; Anahita, S; Berns, N (2004). "'Popping the
Question' When the Answer Is Known: The Engagement Proposal as Performance".
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243:, sometimes with any man rejecting such a proposal being expected to pay a forfeit to his suitor, usually through a gift of clothing.
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As royal tradition dictated that no one could propose to a reigning monarch, Victoria asked Albert to marry her on 15 October 1839.
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While the common
Western convention is for a man to propose to a woman, there are some traditional exceptions. For instance, as a
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in front of her. The ritual often involves the formal asking of the question "Will you marry me, ...?" and the presentation of an
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Mind you, believes it is as appropriate for the lady to propose to the gentleman as it is for a gentleman to propose to a lady.
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690:: An Encyclopedia of Dating Customs and Wedding Traditions, Expanded Second Edition George Monger ABC-CLIO, Apr 9, 2013
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251:, while proposals by women are considered socially acceptable, the vast majority of heterosexual proposals are by men.
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is a custom or ritual, common in
Western cultures, in which one member of a couple asks the other for their hand in
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504:"Rites Relating to Marriage: A Statement and Resources from The International Anglican Liturgical Consultation"
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848:"Reshaping relational scripts? Marriage and civil partnership proposals among same-gender couples"
647:"Reshaping relational scripts? Marriage and civil partnership proposals among same-gender couples"
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are permitted to propose during a leap year, this is the exception that proves the cultural rule.
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Not all engagements begin with a proposal of marriage. Historically, many marriages have been
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My
Dearest, Dearest Albert: Queen Victoria's Life Through Her Letters and Journals
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In Western cultures, a proposal is traditionally made by a man to a woman, while
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509:. The International Anglican Liturgical Consultation. 2011. pp. 4, 14–15.
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892:"Will You Marry Me?" Some First-Hand Accounts of Marriage Proposals, 1600-1900
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Couples in many Christian denominations have the option of receiving the
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Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior (Freshly Updated)
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Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior (Freshly Updated)
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Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior (Freshly Updated)
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Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior (Freshly Updated)
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Language, Gender, and Ideology in Japanese Professional Matchmaking
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169:) is communicated between the couple's respective matchmakers.
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Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home
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30:"Will you marry me" redirects here. For other uses, see
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733:. New York: W. W. Norton & Company. p. 761.
440:. New York: W. W. Norton & Company. p. 759.
411:. New York: W. W. Norton & Company. p. 775.
322:. New York: W. W. Norton & Company. p. 760.
392:. New York and London: Funk & Wagnalls Company.
467:"Forget the Fancy Proposal. Let's Just Get Married"
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621:"Leap Year Proposal: What's The Story Behind It?"
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129:A woodcut depicting a proposal, Germany, 1815
50:The examples and perspective in this article
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144:. If accepted, it marks the initiation of
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88:Learn how and when to remove this message
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148:, a mutual promise of later marriage.
14:
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846:Jowett, Adam; Peel, Elizabeth (2019).
729:Kamen, Gloria; Martin, Judith (2011).
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645:Jowett, Adam; Peel, Elizabeth (2019).
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32:Will You Marry Me? (disambiguation)
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623:. Huffingtonpost.com. 2012-02-29.
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701:"Why don't women propose to men?"
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606:. London: Michael O'Mara Books.
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537:"What Is the Rite of Betrothal?"
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299:(PhD). University of Michigan.
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465:Weiss, Suzannah (2020-11-18).
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688:Marriage Customs of the World
663:10.1080/19419899.2019.1645726
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1834:Wedding vow renewal ceremony
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64:, discuss the issue on the
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785:. Smh.com.au. 2004-02-29.
651:Psychology & Sexuality
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576:. 2019. p. 213-214.
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223:in countries including
111:A man proposing on the
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173:Customs and traditions
1809:Self-uniting marriage
602:Dolby, Karen (2018).
1254:Wedding ring cushion
386:Post, Emily (1922).
70:create a new article
62:improve this article
52:may not represent a
27:Proposal of marriage
1824:Wedding anniversary
1555:Pre-wedding customs
1457:Wedding cake topper
1431:Wedding videography
1421:Wedding photography
1391:Pounded rice ritual
1089:Western dress codes
1758:Honeymoon registry
1515:Anand Karaj (Sikh)
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1021:Wedding invitation
809:Sociological Focus
471:The New York Times
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1447:Wedding breakfast
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1462:Cookie table
1452:Wedding cake
1406:Unity candle
1268:Participants
1259:Wishing well
1239:Wedding cord
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1173:Evening gown
1161:Bridal crown
1156:Contemporary
1067:Gretna Green
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1695:Philippines
1647:Zoroastrian
1506:By religion
1386:Polterabend
1376:Money dance
1356:First dance
1341:Ahesta Bero
1310:Flower girl
1281:child bride
1114:Semi-formal
974:Pre-wedding
955:Handfasting
157:matchmakers
1860:Engagement
1854:Categories
1657:By country
1508:or culture
1497:Place card
1492:Loving cup
1334:Traditions
1300:Bridesmaid
1288:Bridegroom
991:Engagement
945:Collective
815:(2): 148.
793:2014-08-11
768:2024-08-18
762:Yahoo Life
715:2015-05-07
631:2014-08-11
489:2020-11-23
355:(2): 148.
280:References
146:engagement
1865:Proposals
1784:Elopement
1750:Honeymoon
1705:Sri Lanka
1530:Ayyavazhi
1325:Officiant
1315:Groomsman
1305:Bridesman
1229:Las arras
1183:Debutante
1178:Ball gown
1119:Black tie
1102:White tie
1072:Las Vegas
1055:Locations
950:Elopement
872:202264087
829:143510045
671:202264087
479:0362-4331
424:charming.
369:143510045
249:Australia
241:leap days
113:High Line
66:talk page
1799:Newlywed
1728:Scotland
1690:Pakistan
1665:Ethiopia
1637:Timorese
1592:Mandaean
1562:Catholic
1371:Lychgate
1320:Page boy
1131:Informal
1081:Clothing
960:Same-sex
934:Weddings
858:(4): 1.
787:Archived
709:Archived
705:CBS News
657:(4): 1.
625:Archived
578:Archived
545:Archived
511:Archived
483:Archived
263:See also
225:Scotland
166:Kotowari
153:arranged
142:marriage
60:You may
1740:Vietnam
1733:history
1710:Ukraine
1675:Iceland
1617:Punjabi
1607:Persian
1577:Islamic
1550:Chinese
1487:Korovai
1396:Pyebaek
1224:Chuppah
1218:Objects
1200:Garters
237:Finland
233:England
229:Ireland
209:monarch
1700:Russia
1632:Shinto
1622:Quaker
1597:Mormon
1587:Jewish
1567:Hajong
1411:Walima
1208:Casual
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235:, and
1772:Other
1680:India
1572:Hindu
1381:Music
1276:Bride
1168:Dress
965:White
896:(PDF)
868:S2CID
825:S2CID
667:S2CID
581:(PDF)
570:(PDF)
514:(PDF)
507:(PDF)
365:S2CID
161:Omiai
68:, or
1602:Odia
1582:Iyer
1525:Ayie
1520:Arab
1136:Suit
735:ISBN
589:2021
553:2021
522:2021
475:ISSN
442:ISBN
413:ISBN
324:ISBN
860:doi
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659:doi
357:doi
301:hdl
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