674:. George – a family friend with a soft spot for Linda – always gets caught in the middle of these arguments while trying to stop them. Linda and George always have the last laugh, however, as Harry is nearly always injured at the end of these episodes. The final sketch of Series 2, featuring a Hogmanay party at the couple's house, shows Harry's ultimate comeuppance, when Linda and George end up kissing passionately in front of him after he makes a fuss about some sausage rolls Linda said she'd made herself but had in fact, bought meat and pastry and "put the sausage rolls together" which, Harry tries to make clear, are not the same thing. They reappeared in Series 3 where they visit a zoo in episode one and a warehouse in episode four.
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361:, who often play practical jokes on the pair or taunt them, shouting: "ya couple o' fannies!" The pranks vary from childish tricks (such as putting glue on the receiver of "Britain's most northerly phone box," which promptly sticks to Alistair's beard) to potentially lethal actions (such as rolling a caber down a mountainside at full tilt towards them); however, the pair of plucky Highlanders always live to present another show. The characters are partly based on the hosts of Scottish history programmes such as
33:
651:
sophisticated item everyone else in the group will put their hands by their cheeks – wiggling their fingers – and chant 'OO-OO-HH Fancy!'. The most infamous example is the "Cheese
Baguette", as being slightly more sophisticated than an ordinary cheese sandwich, that it is still commonly used as a comedic taunt within social groups.
434:(seemingly his only form of sexual gratification available) and pretending that he has hanged himself. The final sketch ends with the lighthouse being blown up, Duncan's trademark "Gonnae no dae that?" phrase being spoken as the unfortunate lighthouse keeper watches Malcolm sail away before the lighthouse explodes.
630:
Two overbearing salesmen in an electronics store who frequently try to put their "sales pitch" on expecting customers. They will usually attempt to completely confuse the customer, often using entirely fictional or inappropriate terminology to describe everyday electronics equipment. They also end up
737:
Often characters are seen to be injured in various, and often serious, ways, such as being run over or pushed down the stairs, and when looking around to see the perpetrator, they are faced with a smiling young girl on a scooter, accompanied by some light ice cream van-esque music. The injured party
657:
A deranged animal rights activist (always seen in a tie-dyed shirt and baggy jeans) who would do to a person what he/she is doing to an animal, such as grab a guy's lip when he is fishing to show what it feels like. His catchphrases are "Now you know what it feels like" and "'Mon the (animal that is
561:
A man with a whistling lisp, which often gets satirised by other people by having him say a phrase with the pronunciation of the letter "S" strewn throughout, such as his niece and nephew having him read "The Night Before
Christmas" from the beginning (the sketch begins with him finishing it, on the
447:
These sketches feature an extremely unlucky woman named Fiona working as a taxi controller, who is always shown crying down her headset to the drivers about her terrible life and how her new boyfriends keep dying in bizarre circumstances. She generally smokes many cigarettes and drinks large volumes
422:
An overbearing, narcissistic golfer who enjoys humiliating his fellow golf club members by making them do such things as retrieving a £50 note from a dustbin, or leaving another £50 note on the bar to see who would be desperate enough to pick it up for themselves. He is typically very loud and likes
501:
A van that brings various cultural amenities to the car park of a council estate, ranging from things like swimming pools to an art gallery to a theatre. The staff of the van are often harassed by a ned or two walking past. In reality, such vans would contain something like a Mobile
Library, or the
686:
A woman who repeatedly injures (often seriously) her husband (Hemphill), she then shouts "HELP HELP, there's been a terrible accident!" in a very bored, insincere manner. Her husband then usually replies with "Brenda, ya bastard!" Another Brenda was introduced in Series 4, depicting an overbearing
605:
The world's worst actor, with a gravelly, monotonous voice. Ronald is apparently registered with the agent "Widdecombe & Pump." When presented with any script or concept, he invariably responds, "Ah can dae that", but he is incapable of remembering simple lines, often completely misunderstands
716:
Two men harass their friend Archie in a bar. A typical sketch will involve Archie walking up to his mates, at which point they start shouting "ARCHIIIEE" whilst fondling him. Often they will shout "TITTIES" or "COUPLE O' PLUMS." Archie then gets frustrated with them and storms off after shouting:
415:
housewife, with the same pretensions and turns of phrase. Their catchphrase is "we're just paying for the banter". Their real names are James (Hemphill) and Gary (Kiernan). In earlier sketches, they were seen in a tearoom where they discuss various subjects often relating to
Glaswegian banter and
637:
A car salesman (played by Mark Cox) who stands in a group with three other car salesmen (Kiernan, Hemphill, and Paul Riley) that have a laugh with each other by making comments or noises in relation to a subject. When it gets to his turn, he becomes overbearing by making loud noises or gestures,
440:
A bored, friendless woman working in a corner shop who is "stuck in this shop, day after day after day...", and therefore constantly trying to be over-friendly with her customers, and invariably frightening them off. She often attempts to pry into customers' personal lives, and comments on their
429:
Duncan (Hemphill) and
Malcolm (Kiernan) are two Highlanders who work in a lighthouse on the fictional west coast island of Aonoch Mor. Their sketches usually featured at the start of the programme. Duncan endures pranks from Malcolm while pleading "Gonnae no dae that?" Malcolm's pranks gradually
550:
that get up to mischief, such as finding a "package" on the beach, then discovering that it is hash and proceed to produce a Rizla. They speak gibberish that is supposed to sound like Gaelic with
English loan words to allow the audience to understand the gist of what they are saying, with their
410:
in a variety of situations. This includes hiding out in a football team's changing room to hear the coach shouting at the players and taking a taxi ride in a complete circle back to where they got on, paying out with a £100 note for "the banter" they received from the driver. The two characters
384:
s "Call The Lawyer" section, in which people having problems could get legal advice. The character was so popular after his first appearance that he appeared in other sketches; his catchphrase being: "Is there a problem here?" The Big Man is frequently hypocritical, usually demanding as payment
650:
A sketch featuring a different group of people each time. The group will be comparing items (packed lunches, drinks bought at a bar, etc.). All but the last item will be stereotypically "normal" or "working-class" – but the last person will have something considered "posh". On hearing this
592:
A family of chain smokers who only spend their money on their incredibly heavy addiction to cigarettes. They have all lost their voices (due to throat cancer) so they have to rely on voice boxes to communicate. One scene includes the young grandson who, wishing to 'have a fag', invites the
723:
In different situations, while several people are drinking (not necessarily alcoholic beverages), a person declines to drink. He/she is prompted to "Take a drink" by a constantly growing number of people until they give up and accept ("Awright then"), at which point everyone cheers
749:
without his wife, telling her it's because she has an old red passport instead of a new blue one (red actually being the latest and blue no longer valid during recording) and she could not have a photograph taken because her teeth are "fillings with magnets" and would break the
533:
Two men who try to get some sleep for their night shift, but are always interrupted by too much noise. They follow the noise, and upon finding the culprit(s), the men shout "Haw, we're oan the night shift!". This noise can be anything from a loud football match to pens
311:, but series three and four, as well as highlights from the first two series, were later broadcast nationally across the United Kingdom. Although the last series ended in February 2002, a Hogmanay special was broadcast each New Year's Eve between 2000 and 2005.
508:
A highly-strung, seemingly sexually-repressed teacher who gets overly offended by just about anything her class says, who take pleasure in winding her up as a result. Her catchphrase is: " Right, that's enough!" Apparently, she was based on a chemistry teacher
495:. These always end up with Betty describing her (numerous) sexual experiences in detail before being cut off by the show's exasperated host (Hemphill). She always sits with her legs spread wide apart, exposing her underwear.
730:
Two fishermen aboard the trawler the "pearl necklace". They speak in a nautical sounding tone but the words used are rude and have very little to do with ships, tending to make references to sex or various parts of the
697:
in who is employed by the television company to translate the
Scottish news, narrated by a newsreader (Hemphill), into the ned dialect. He is introduced thusly "...and here, interpreting for the Neds tonight, Rab
470:
A school janitor who pops up to try and fix everything from broken ankles to broken hearts with a liberal application of sawdust from his bucket. His catchphrase is "Gie that ten minutes an' it'll be as right as
391:
Two very dodgy painter & decorators who usually steal things from the houses they are working at. Their real names are Tony (Kiernan) and Wullie (Hemphill). In the sketches, they are normally seen having a
744:
A (gullible) woman on the phone to her mother recounting how great her husband Derek (who is never seen) is, completely unaware that he seems to be a self-serving liar and cheat. For example, he travels to
644:
Different characters in competitive, or disagreeing situations, who proceed to taunt the losing side by chanting "Milk
Lemonade Chocolate", pointing to their breasts, crotch, and posteriors respectively.
527:
where he smashed up an entire office when a file took an infuriatingly long time to download from the
Internet and his home study was wrecked when someone he was trying to call wouldn't answer the phone.
523:
A man who attempts to do a normal task, fails multiple times or time takes too long, and ends up trashing the surrounding area in a frustrated rage. He was also featured in two
Scottish adverts for
377:", who turns up to solve people's problems by means of intense intimidation and violence. Keeping with the "hard man" theme, he has a very deep voice. The character first appeared in a parody of
612:
A flatulent gym teacher who demonstrates physical activity to his class, and ends up passing gas from exertion. After this happens, the class laughs at him as he then yells "Simmer down!"
764:
Various characters in different situations describing other people (and things) as either a "wank" or a "good guy", including ducks in a pond, gingerbread men, fish, and soldiers at the
430:
escalated in severity as the series went on, going from simple jokes to excruciating torture of the psyche, including drawing bras and undergarments over the unfortunate man's
423:
to make bombastic speeches and has a habit of calling everyone "Percy", even if it isn't their name. He also wins many trophies, and makes sure everyone knows about it.
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Harry often becomes unjustifiably angry and even verbally abusive to his long-suffering wife, Linda, if she makes the simplest of mistakes, such as during a game of
618:
A woman who can smell "shite", often in the form of a scam or a lie, from a distance away. According to her mail, her name is Olive Actory, a play on olfactory.
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insulting the customers by using offensive and overly familiar terms, such as distorting the person's own name until it becomes a personal insult towards them.
441:(occasionally embarrassing) purchases. In the final sketch, she had seemingly faked her death to get sympathy of those that attended her wake within the shop.
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Two eccentric documentary presenters from the Scottish Highlands, fascinated with Scottish history and landscapes. They are constantly harassed by two
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and anyone accompanying them respond by saying, "Awww" and seem to forget about what has happened to them, occasionally dying from their injuries.
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A man with an extreme fetish for sniffing other people's shoes; he usually distracts them and then sniffs them in a surreptitious manner.
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talking about something inconsequential that Wullie drags into depravity, only to be told by Tony, "You've taken that too far".
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An outgoing female boss who hangs around two reluctant male employees at their desks whilst being obsessed with her moustache.
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A Glasgow merchant who sets up stalls around Glasgow in an attempt to sell sports socks at the price of "two for a pound".
485:. While other young people around him find this hilarious, most of the adults react by smiling and congratulating Stephen.
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whatever he had helped his clients receive. However, the people are always very happy to give him whatever he asks for.
481:) who is constantly embarrassed by his parents as they announce proudly to anyone they meet that he has just started
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Many old men who sing songs, changing the lyrics for comedic effect. Some of these characters later appeared in
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conversations beginning and ending with "oola." It is a parody of the Gaelic-language children's programme "
325:, a sitcom focusing on the two elderly friends, Jack and Victor. The series was mostly filmed in and around
406:
is common, taking great relish (and apparently even sexual arousal) experiencing the Glaswegian accent and
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Two sewer workers who find strange ways of amusing themselves in the sewer, including playing with faeces.
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woman who would, at unexpected moments, go "My heart was like that", and tap on her chest simultaneously.
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A female OAP, usually seen giving interviews to a "teatime show" about her memories from during the
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who get up to mischief, featuring the characters that were famously later to appear in the series
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last sentence where the letter "S" not present.) So he reads it as (lisps are in bold) "Twa
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The Big Man is a tough Glaswegian gangster, and a stereotypical representation of an "
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Rab is a stereotypical shellsuit-wearing, chain-smoking, hard-drinking Glaswegian
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opportunity for grandad to 'grab the camera' for the boy's first ever cigarette.
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means to chat casually, but thoroughly, about subjects of mutual interest.
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Two camp men who are regularly found nearby places where Glaswegian
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the directions of the director, and attempts inappropriate ad-libs.
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resulting in the other car salesmen walking away in embarrassment.
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also appeared regularly on the show among other actors such as
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of whisky throughout the sketch, in order to "dull the pain."
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The Hogmanay 2000 Special with 30 minutes of unseen footage
661:
Harry (Kiernan), Linda (Dunbar) and George (Hemphill)
348:
505:Miss Isabelle Gourlay, the Teacher (Karen Dunbar)
1309:
1239:""Chewin' the Fat – Pub Singers" YouTube video"
1175:
1179:An Asperger Dictionary of Everyday Expressions
1112:Series 1–3, The Live Show and Still Game Live
477:A 14-year-old boy called Stephen (played by
1270:
31:
1156:A selection of some of the best sketches
474:The Boy Who Has Just Started Masturbating
444:The Depressed Taxi Caller (Karen Dunbar)
411:appear in the form of the stereotypical
1323:2002 Scottish television series endings
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1363:2000s British comedy television series
1318:1999 Scottish television series debuts
1310:
354:Alistair (Hemphill) and Rory (Kiernan)
315:gave rise to the successful, and cult
1358:1990s British television sketch shows
741:Woman married to Derek (Karen Dunbar)
488:Betty the Auld Slapper (Karen Dunbar)
1343:BBC Scotland television sketch shows
451:Jack (Kiernan) and Victor (Hemphill)
437:The Lonely Shopkeeper (Karen Dunbar)
627:Bob (Hemphill) & Alan (Kiernan)
13:
1219:Dalziel, Magdalene (18 May 2019).
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717:"Get aaf me ya pair ah bastards!"
349:Recurring characters and sketches
1373:Television series by BBC Studios
1016:6. Episode 6 – 22 February 2002
1013:5. Episode 5 – 15 February 2002
981:6. Episode 6 – 20 December 2000
978:5. Episode 5 – 13 December 2000
972:3. Episode 3 – 29 November 2000
969:2. Episode 2 – 22 November 2000
966:1. Episode 1 – 15 November 2000
958:6. Episode 6 – 16 December 1999
949:3. Episode 3 – 25 November 1999
946:2. Episode 2 – 18 November 1999
943:1. Episode 1 – 11 November 1999
935:6. Episode 6 – 17 February 1999
932:5. Episode 5 – 10 February 1999
1348:Television shows set in Glasgow
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1010:4. Episode 4 – 8 February 2002
1007:3. Episode 3 – 1 February 2002
1004:2. Episode 2 – 25 January 2002
1001:1. Episode 1 – 18 January 2002
975:4. Episode 4 – 6 December 2000
955:5. Episode 5 – 9 December 1999
952:4. Episode 4 – 2 December 1999
929:4. Episode 4 – 3 February 1999
926:3. Episode 3 – 27 January 1999
923:2. Episode 2 – 20 January 1999
920:1. Episode 1 – 13 January 1999
906:John McNeil – Lighting Director
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734:The Wee Girl with the Scooter
634:Socially Awkward Car salesman
37:Series title card (1999–2002)
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621:The Shoe Sniffer (Hemphill)
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690:Rab McGlinchy (Kiernan)
641:Milk Lemonade Chocolate
582:tirring, not even a mou
520:Ballistic Bob (Kiernan)
1101:Series 4 Episodes 1–6
1090:Series 3 Episodes 1–6
1079:Series 2 Episodes 1–6
1068:Series 1 Episodes 1–6
851:– Writer & Creator
845:– Writer & Creator
609:Gym Teacher (Hemphill)
578:e, not a creature was
426:The Lighthouse Keepers
240:(2002–2007, 2016–2019)
1338:BBC television comedy
1038:2005 Hogmanay Special
1032:2004 Hogmanay Special
1026:2003 Hogmanay Special
1020:2002 Hogmanay Special
991:2001 Hogmanay Special
985:2000 Hogmanay Special
875:– Additional Material
869:– Additional Material
863:– Additional Material
857:– Additional Material
766:Changing of the Guard
727:Foulmouthed Fishermen
683:Brenda (Karen Dunbar)
566:the night before chri
558:Mr. Simpson (Kiernan)
537:Gretta (Karen Dunbar)
370:The Big Man (Kiernan)
244:The Karen Dunbar Show
832:– Various Characters
826:– Various Characters
820:– Various Characters
814:– Various Characters
808:– Various Characters
802:– Various Characters
796:– Various Characters
790:– Various Characters
758:" she is sitting on.
170:Effingee Productions
1298:Chewin' the Fat
1263:Chewin' the Fat
1040:– 31 December 2005
1034:– 31 December 2004
1028:– 31 December 2003
1022:– 31 December 2002
993:– 31 December 2001
987:– 31 December 2000
467:The Janny (Kiernan)
331:West Dunbartonshire
299:first started as a
1293:at The Comedy Unit
1117:Series 1–4 boxset
1106:Series 1–3 boxset
818:Julie Wilson Nimmo
589:The Smoking Family
548:Scottish Highlands
419:Big Jock (Kiernan)
305:BBC Radio Scotland
1197:978-1-84310-152-9
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1153:20 November 2006
1142:27 November 2000
1120:23 February 2004
596:The Sewer Workers
530:The Nightshifters
329:and occasionally
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113:Country of origin
16:Television series
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893:– Producer (For
830:Gordon McCorkell
701:Singing Bar Boys
647:Oo-oo-hh, fancy!
493:Second World War
479:Gordon McCorkell
309:BBC One Scotland
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903:– Script Editor
873:Robert Florence
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777:Cast & crew
658:being abused)!"
399:The Banter Boys
388:Bish & Bosh
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313:Chewin' the Fat
297:Chewin' the Fat
255:Chewin' the Fat
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1150:The Best of
1044:DVD releases
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901:Rab Christie
895:BBC Scotland
867:Iain Connell
843:Ford Kiernan
836:
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800:Karen Dunbar
788:Ford Kiernan
781:
780:
705:
669:
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511:Karen Dunbar
483:masturbating
459:
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336:The English
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296:
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277:. Comedians
275:Karen Dunbar
267:Ford Kiernan
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182:Running time
176:BBC Scotland
99:Karen Dunbar
92:Ford Kiernan
50:Ford Kiernan
24:
18:
1225:glasgowlive
1123:Series 1–4
752:photo booth
698:McGlinchy."
513:had at her
432:pornography
265:, starring
263:sketch show
247:(2003–2006)
145:of episodes
64:Directed by
1368:Still Game
1312:Categories
1284:BBC Online
1268:BBC Online
1163:References
1051:DVD title
891:Ewan Angus
887:– Producer
881:– Director
806:Paul Riley
707:Still Game
515:own school
461:Still Game
413:Kelvinside
375:Alpha Male
364:Weir's Way
322:Still Game
303:series on
279:Paul Riley
237:Still Game
222:2005-12-31
212:1999-01-13
185:30 minutes
153:Production
104:Paul Riley
43:Created by
1095:Series 4
1084:Series 3
1073:Series 2
1062:Series 1
837:Main Crew
782:Main Cast
671:Countdown
534:clicking.
525:broadband
394:tea break
158:Producers
134:of series
1353:Hogmanay
1206:54816881
1057:Content
911:Episodes
824:Tom Urie
812:Mark Cox
747:Tenerife
731:anatomy.
724:him/her.
666:Monopoly
416:culture.
317:spin-off
291:Tom Urie
283:Mark Cox
117:Scotland
86:Starring
1244:YouTube
756:beanbag
553:Dòtaman
327:Glasgow
230:Related
220: (
216: –
210: (
205:Release
199:BBC One
195:Network
1204:
1194:
1184:London
543:Sluich
471:rain."
408:patter
404:banter
260:comedy
1131:2001
338:idiom
319:show
301:radio
126:Scots
1303:IMDb
1202:OCLC
1192:ISBN
456:OAPs
454:Two
359:neds
289:and
281:and
273:and
1301:at
1282:at
1266:at
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668:or
586:e."
570:tma
143:No.
132:No.
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137:4
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