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Inconsistency in naming and formatting within an article makes the text more difficult to understand. Sifting through an article, using your memory of what has come before to pick up glitches, is a good exercise for editors who are relatively inexperienced at copy-editing. Here are a few examples of
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Derfflinger was part of the First
Scouting Group for most of World War I, and was involved in several fleet actions during the war, taking part in the bombardments of English coastal towns, as well as the Battles of Dogger Bank and Jutland, where her stubborn resistance led to the British nicknaming
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A lot of MilHist involves storytelling. Stories are strings of actions and facts; once the reader knows it's a narrative description of a battle or the development of a new military helicopter technology, you can usually strengthen the flow by removing such sequence words as "then", "in addition",
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These pages have detailed information. English is that kind of language—big and baggy and needing lots of reining in. Don't be daunted by their size; they are there to assist you, and gradually you'll become familiar with the issues and know where to access them quickly and easily if you need to.
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Building fresh collaborations or finding your way into an existing network of editors is very much a social experience. The benefits need to be reciprocal (at least over time), and are partly based on whether people like interacting with you and partly on the fit of your skills and knowledge with
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Knowledge has a powerful and unique role to play in recording military history. As well as pursuing high standards of accuracy, verification and neutrality, the quality of prose and formatting of our military history articles should aim to be of a professional standard. Good prose is important to
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Now the sequence of events is clearer, and it turns out that knowing what "reconnaissance in force" means, here and now, is essential. There's no confusion between that and the full campaign; instead, the readers get a feeling for how a nasty surprise must have rolled all too quickly into a
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Make the flow of consciousness simple. Often, MilHist articles need to describe a long, complex series of events; it can be hard to present such a narrative logically to readers, especially when you know the story well yourself. Here's an example from the lead of the otherwise-good article,
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Aim to bring all readers into your topic. It's easy to assume expert or semi-expert knowledge when you're close to a topic; try to read it as though you're an interested, intelligent non-expert. There may be occasional exceptions; when a topic or section is highly technical (such as on
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Redundancy, rather than poor grammar and spelling, is the biggest source of problems in prose. A smooth read requires no wasted words; it's as simple as that. All good writing is lean. It's an acquired skill—an attitude that, with practice, you can switch on easily. Here's an example:
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English is more particular than most languages about the close repetition of words. By this, we don't mean common grammatical words—such as "the" and "to"—but lexical items. The less-frequently-used a word normally is, the more a reader will notice its repetition.
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use of focused wikilinking and brief definitions using parentheses, dashes or commas; you'll know you're trying too hard to explain things if the text becomes cluttered. Editorial judgement and feedback from your collaborators is important in this respect.
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made an opportunistic attempt to drive into the German flank through a gap in the front line and to seize the town of
Villers-Bocage. Although the troops were hampered by rain and strong winds and eventually withdrew, they managed to cause considerable
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is an important tool for getting the most out of your writing and editing. Ironically, being too close to the text you're working on can be a disadvantage. There are several ways of temporarily distancing yourself from it, including the following:
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What skills do they have? (There are many possibilities, including copy-editing, researching secondary sources and verification, broad historical contexts, military strategy, image management, and military engineering, geography, aviation, and
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However, repetition isn't quite as simple as this. There's bad repetition (like what we've just seen) and good repetition. Explicitly "back-referring" to an important word by repeating it can make the text more cohesive and avoid ambiguity.
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You may also have opportunities to attract non-member
Wikipedians (and even people who are not yet Wikipedians) into MilHist, to work on a single project or on a longer-term basis. Naturally, this is strongly encouraged by the WikiProject.
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is usually essential to producing fine MilHist articles. Unless you have a lot of experience and the right range of skills, you'll need to be a team player − knowing your strengths and weaknesses and matching them with those of others.
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It can be instructive to see what reviewers say about the prose of MilHist nominations and to observe the diffs of nominations as they improve in this respect. At FAC, there has been steady improvement in the quality of MilHist prose.
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The writing in MilHist articles does not need to be beautiful; the challenge is, rather, that it be engaging as well as plain and easy to read. Here are general tips on what to aim for in copy-editing MilHist articles.
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of WikiProject MilHist, whose areas of expertise are included in the membership list. There are three important factors in how you prioritise your social and professional networking with other MilHist editors:
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Similarly, long paragraphs are daunting to readers. Identify where you might break them to allow readers to "start afresh" and download the previous information, as it were, into their long-term memory.
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Often, copy-editors and those with substantive knowledge of the topic and its sources will need to interact to produce a professional article. This can be done on the article's talk page and in
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In terms of organisation, it is often helpful to copy-edit more than one article or section at a time and to alternate between them to freshen your mind. No two copy-edits are exactly alike.
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the force achieved tactical surprise, but the islands proved to be far from unoccupied. A furious battle ensued for the control of the
Admiralty Islands that was fought out on the islands,
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and the other four battlecruisers were to support the Thames attack. After both attacks, the fleet was to concentrate off the Dutch coast, where it would meet the Grand Fleet in battle.
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to other editors, which can be inserted into the body of the article text. Take care to use the latter method judiciously, without accidentally changing the appearance of the text.
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On the personal level, many topics involve the ultimate sacrifice by people whose memory is still very much alive, and we need to do justice to this memory in article prose.
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in the bombardments of
English coastal towns, as well as the Battles of Dogger Bank and Jutland, where her stubborn resistance led to the British nicknaming her "Iron Dog".
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in the bombardments of
English coastal towns, as well as the Battles of Dogger Bank and Jutland, where her stubborn resistance led to the British nicknaming her "Iron Dog".
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maintaining and increasing the authority and reputation of
Knowledge's military history articles and their contribution to our understanding of history in a broader sense.
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informed von Reuter that the
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made an opportunistic attempt to drive into the German flank through a gap in the front line and to seize the town of Villers-Bocage. Although
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Print out the text and mark it up with a pen, preferably in a different environment from where you normally edit (cafes are good for that).
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Derfflinger was part of the First Scouting Group for most of World War I, and was involved in several fleet actions during the
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Derfflinger was part of the First Scouting Group for most of World War I, and was involved in several fleet actions during the
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Admiral Friedrich von Ingenohl, the commander of the High Seas Fleet, decided to carry out another raid on the English coast.
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Acting on reports from airmen that there were no signs of enemy activity and that the islands may have been evacuated,
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Acting on reports from airmen that there were no signs of enemy activity and that the islands may have been evacuated,
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Acting on reports from airmen that there were no signs of enemy activity and that the islands may have been evacuated,
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Copy editors are in short supply at Knowledge, so if copy-editing is not your strength you'll need to do two things:
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The letter home: a British soldier writing in a loft over a cow-shed "somewhere near the front", 30 December 1914
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of the islands. The campaign started on 29 February 1944 when a small force was landed on a beach on
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Ease yourself into, at least, a passing knowledge of the main Knowledge style guides:
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The plan involved two simultaneous attacks by light cruisers and destroyers, one on
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Like vocabulary, simple grammatical structures are preferred. Here's an example:
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Our language is one of the few in which elegance and plainness are intertwined.
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full-blown operation. Now the reader is excited, not confused and working hard.
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informed von Reuter that the Armistice was to expire at noon on 21 June 1919,
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The campaign involved the capture of Japanese bases in the Admiralty Islands
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The problem lies in the unnecessary passive voice ("was decided by" and
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How amenable are they to collaborating with you on your chosen topics?
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Probably the best place to start after this is a recently-introduced
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Hint: identify a simple substitution of one of the underlined words.
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Read it in reverse, section-by-section or even sentence-by-sentence.
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Three occurrences of "attack(s)" were too many in this short space.
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the deadline by which Germany was to have signed the peace treaty.
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Avoid long, winding sentences; they're too taxing on your readers'
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Removing one of the two words will solve a repetition problem too.
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Problem text: read this carefully, think about it, then proceed.
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military equipment and technology, weapons, armour, and vehicles
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hampered by rain and strong winds and eventually withdrew ...
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and the other four battlecruisers were to support the latter
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good at it; more information on how to do this can be found
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started on 29 February 1944 when a small force landed on a
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Here's one possible solution, with additions underlined:
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Australia, New Zealand and South Pacific military history
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Exercises in avoiding the "noun plus -ing" construction
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Where will readers get confused or feel there's a gap?
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and the other four battlecruisers were to support the
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This limited offensive to gauge the enemy's reaction
1860:concise version of the Manual of Style (main page)
1883:, for advice on wikilinking and external linking.
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2682:Exercises in paragraphing and sentence structure
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1803:theirs. It should be an enjoyable experience.
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2697:WikiProject Military history Academy courses
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2505:of World War II in which the United States
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2036:Or "had decided", depending on the context.
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1971:Choose basic rather than elaborate words (
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2273:by light cruisers and destroyers, one on
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2519:accelerated his timetable and ordered a
2009:It's indirect, over-elaborate and wordy.
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1457:Russian, Soviet and CIS military history
1210:Military science, technology, and theory
2642:Beginners' guide to the Manual of Style
2002:How you can make this sentence crisper?
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1921:Take a break, and come back refreshed.
1689:Pritzker Military Museum & Library
18:Knowledge:WikiProject Military history
1894:Observe the FAC, FLC and GA processes
53:While it is not one of the project's
2538:Here's the second paragraph alone.
2412:Repeating "Division" makes it clear.
1981:the landing was completed in an hour
1448:Roman and Byzantine military history
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2616:a furious land, sea and air battle
2269:The plan involved two simultaneous
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1841:Ways to improve your copy-editing
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1973:the battle started
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512:A-Class medals
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2626:Explanations
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2601:
2593:
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2562:
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2256:
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2207:
2195:
2189:
2184:Even better?
2174:
2168:
2163:
2145:
2141:
2139:
2116:
2104:
2095:
2088:
2070:
2067:
2041:Long snakes.
2040:
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2033:
2020:
2006:
1994:
1993:
1968:
1967:
1964:
1953:
1946:
1933:
1906:
1897:
1888:
1846:Style guides
1832:
1815:
1809:
1805:
1801:
1795:technology.)
1788:
1777:
1771:
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1753:
1750:
1746:
1614:World War II
1129:Intelligence
1105:Task forces
1076:New articles
535:
523:
511:
409:
325:
292:Coordination
46:
2450:February 14
2417:Consistency
2385:As part of
2374:disruption.
2361:As part of
2175:was to have
2063:Split here?
1829:beforehand.
1605:World War I
181:B-Class FAQ
171:A-Class FAQ
81:WikiProject
2691:Categories
2457:and later
2430:like this
2313:Hindenburg
2299:A solution
2283:Hindenburg
2257:Hindenburg
2233:Repetition
2188:A copy of
2162:A copy of
2140:A copy of
2115:A copy of
2101:Redundancy
1881:WP:MOSLINK
1789:interested
583:Notability
567:Guidelines
557:Resources
440:Membership
154:Assessment
44:'s online
2466:and then
2448:and then
2446:6 January
2438:like this
2204:Precision
2190:The Times
2164:The Times
2147:which was
2142:The Times
2117:The Times
1954:judicious
1667:Espionage
1228:War films
616:Infoboxes
609:Templates
498:Main page
474:Userboxes
447:Full list
375:Main page
368:Incubator
299:Main page
245:Main page
161:Main page
2606:secluded
2380:Solution
2336:Comments
2305:Flanders
2275:Flanders
2249:Flanders
2172:Germany
2169:by which
2135:Solution
2082:Solution
2029:Solution
1772:Teamwork
1678:Firearms
1623:Cold War
1551:Crusades
1237:Weaponry
948:Showcase
464:Inactive
328:newsroom
315:Handbook
238:Contests
20: |
2327:strikes
2291:attacks
2271:attacks
1735:changes
574:Content
124:Academy
47:Academy
22:Academy
2321:Thames
2317:latter
2287:attack
1983:, not
1975:, not
1875:MOSNUM
1700:Piracy
1658:Blades
1039:5,538
830:Weapon
491:Awards
460:Active
2021:again
1711:Ships
959:1504
592:Style
326:Bugle
16:<
2497:The
2391:Caen
2367:Caen
2214:many
2198:here
2125:Hint
2015:Hint
1989:here
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1731:edit
1019:685
989:538
969:149
933:talk
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1029:40
999:69
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