Knowledge:Featured article candidates/Archived nominations/September 2013

12676:"According to Billboard writer Monica Herrera, the clip is opposite to the music video for Bionic lead single 'Not Myself Tonight'". These and many others are sentences that need to be rewritten to sound better and pass the first featured article criterion, which I quote asks for prose that is "engaging, even brilliant, and of a professional standard". From here on, I'd recommend that you work with an experienced editor, possibly someone who commonly works with pop music topics, and ask them to run an eye and help you tidy things up. And while this next suggestion is no obligation, I highly recommend you take this article to GAN after the copy editing is finished. This is a stepping stone to seeing how far your article has come. If you ping me on my talk page, I may be able to review this if it 16303:, "I wonder if this might be an instance of comprehensiveness trumping reliability... However, this is a specialized and obscure topic, and there may not be the kind of sources you request available. IOW, they may be the most reliable sources out there. I've come to the conclusion that resorting to using industry webpages is necessary for some articles in order to maintain comprehensiveness, even in FAs--as long as the prose is high-quality." She made a very good point about comprehensiveness trumping reliability. I'm not trying to be a pain, I've just followed this article from day one. I wrote this article with all the sources available and I don't see the issue in the few YouTube or PointBuzz links that are used.-- 14324:"Overseas operations often flourished while ignoring or even defying orders from Louisville headquarters: management attempted to force KFC Japan to switch from corn and cottonseed oil to cheaper palm or soybean, but local management refused to compromise the quality of their product with a lesser quality oil". I'm worried that a POV has been 'swallowed' by the source and then reproduced here. what evidence is there that the cheaper oil was lower quality? It was used in other countries without any problems? Perhaps "local management stated that they would not compromise the quality of their product with a lesser quality oil" at least attributes the argument to managers without elevating it to objective fact. 11059:. I have read the article twice, and support on prose. Suggestion: "Madgwick" appears more than 100 times in the article, at one place four times in three sentences. Can that be varied? I may have more suggestions but as a whole the article meets the standards for FA. In reply to the comments just above: the handling of explanatory notes and cites is a matter of personal preference, not FA criteria (and I don't read Dr. Blofeld to state otherwise), and I agree there is no need for accessdates on convenience weblinks to works in print. I would eliminate those links unless the website in use reproduces all relevant parts of the book, but that too is personal preference. Please review 13472:). A reader who has not seen the film will not learn much from "Relatives: The King (father); The Queen (mother); Mother Gothel (adoptive mother)". Since there are no articles on her royal parents, what does it add to include the king and queen (and I think most readers will be sufficiently familiar with biology to know the king is her father and the queen is her mother). Since "Mother Gothel" kidnaps Rapunzel and holds her captive, I think calling her an "adoptive mother" is very problematic (since adoption is a legal process and kidnapping is not). I am not against an infobox here in general, but the current box detracts from the article it should add to (if included). 12385:. Tone and style issues are pervasive; many sections are simply not written to an encyclopedic standard, much less the brilliant prose expected of FAC. There are a number of problems with linking as well, from massive overlinking (I lost count of how many times Palermo is linked) to at least one self-referential link (violent succession). There are referencing issues as well, including a bare URL link to Youtube as Reference 125, but given the state of the article, I didn't do a comprehensive reference review. To meet the FAC standards, this article would require a sufficiently thorough rewrite that I would then oppose on the stability criterion. 4031:"Owing to the scale of the atrocities, Archer Blood, the US Consul General in Dhaka, sent what became known as the Blood telegram, in which the signatories denounced American "complicity in Genocide"". This requires some unpacking - first, a concul would normally send his/her own telegrams, so the idea that it had multiple signatories seems strange. Second, I don't understand the relevance / meaning, in this particular sentence, of "Owing to the scale of the atrocities". Is this meant to explain the actions of Blood, or the fact that there were all the signatories... i just don't follow the argument here. 11928:—As Awardgive mentions above, I reviewed this article earlier in the year, and I've been asked me to look it over again. I believe the article is carefully written and does an exemplary job of writing in detail about an issue for which sources are limited due to reasons of era, and it has improved since my last read. That said, I do have a number of recommendations and questions which should be addressed before I think this is ready, and I should add that my FAC experience is relatively limited, so I'll ultimately defer to others on whether this one should pass. For the record, I hope it does! 11353: 3187:? In that case, you are still left with the problem of not having explained why you are first citing that outside estimate that is so exorbitantly higher. Has that estimate some special authority that would justify us giving it pride of place? Why then have the authors of the other estimates ignored it? – As for the "lebensborn" thing, I'm not going to discuss that with you further, having experienced your inaccessibility to logical argument too many times. It's absurd and has to go, and the article will not be featured while it's there. 2117:; he states as much in his prose. Of course many other papers and books – including that by Scarboro and Luck, which you cite – discuss the religion of Wicca (from historical, anthropological, and sociological angles), but none discuss the word's etymology. In fact I think that the Scarboro and Luck article would be of very little use here, because it does not focus on the etymology or terminology, instead offering a sociological analysis of a Wiccan coven in Atlanta, Georgia. Interesting stuff, but not particularly pertinent here. 14293:"Whereas KFC management had previously allowed franchisees to serve any soft drink they wished, PepsiCo stated that it hoped it would be able to convince franchisees to stock Pepsi products". The sentence seeks to contrast two things, but they are actually the same: previous management had "allowed" franchisees to serve anything, while Pepsi said "it hoped it would be able to convince franchisees" to do something - implying that it remained a choice - they weren't changing the franchise contracts. So why "whereas"? 671:

for various types of hollow metal tube also being 'waveguide') and that this article will only deal with filters of one type. I think a better approach would be to start with a very general definition of a waveguide filter that is always true, then mention the caveat and say that the rest of this article will only deal with the case of filters in hollow metal tubes. I think the best approach would be to rename this article or make this article cover other types as well (eg Coplanar waveguide filters).

13461:- if all someone saw was the infbox (as can happen on some smart phones), it would not tell them this article is about a Disney character (as opposed to the fairy tale or even the version in Shrek films), and it makes it appear that the general character of Rapunzel first appeared in the world in 2010, sprung full-formed from the mind of Glen Keane. For an example of an FA infobox that does a much better job of making clear this is a character in a specific fictional universe, see 3315:

Australian doctor felt while working with them, and nobody cares about what that doctor mistakenly thought the rapes in Bangladesh were comparable with. The only reason to have this bit (and in a literal block quote, no less) is to gain the extra emotional power of having that comparison with the nazis; why would we throw that comparison at the reader when we are forced in the next moment to retract it and explain to them that these two things weren't comparable after all?

14418:

to a burger - which one would hope was boneless! So it cannot be being rolled out for the first time at any rate. Third, the Sanburn quote is classic 'nothing text': is describes the innovation as "modest" and then says it "may not" (and therefore by implication "may") be the latest in a long line blah blah. It is of no consequence and shouldn't be included. Then we have this concept store - a single store in a chain that has nearly 10000. See

2124:, a relatively influential journal in the British Pagan scene, albeit one that is not peer-reviewed or academic. Seims herself subsequently uploaded the article online so that it could gain a wider readership, but originally it did appear in print, and therefore fits with Knowledge's reliable source policy. If its of any relevance here, Doyle White actually quotes Seims's arguments in his academic paper, in order to support or critique them. 3572:. He has partly cleaned it up, but there are other incidences of the same error further in the article). This is a problem that goes well beyond the one I noted above, about chapter titles not being named properly, because in this instance authorial opinions have been explicitly misattributed. All ref entries involving collected volumes need to be checked thoroughly to make sure editorial and authorial roles are correctly documented. 8764:"His brother was in California the night Bruce died and yet Roderick knew from a dream exactly how it happened. The night of the drowning Roderick awoke screaming and rushed to tell his grandmother about his nightmare." Maybe "His brother, Roderick, was in California the night Bruce died, yet claimed to know from a dream exactly what had happened. Roderick awoke screaming and rushed to tell his grandmother about his nightmare." 2666:

ref=harv parameter needs to be added for proper working of the style. I have illustrated a few examples in the article. However, for cite web templates, and in some other instances where author name is not available, there are some other methods of parameter. Please see an article that uses the style to understand that. Yes it does need some work, but the end result is aesthetically more soothing. Regards.--

3677:

the whole article is for the Bengalis. The lead can be brought on the lines of: "During the Bangladesh Liberation War of 1971, hundreds of thousands of women were raped by members of the Pakistani military and the militias supporting them and the Bengali militants." Both of the major communities of Biharis and Bengalis were equally affected." I hope my rationale is understood. Severe need of improvement.

15427:. This article was originally a draft in my user space months before it was announced and I have been contributing to it ever since. The roller coaster is very new so there are many sources available for the ride and most have been added. For only being open about 3 months, the article has just as much information that any other roller coaster article has. This is also my second FAC, my first being 2591: 11278:

score). It would be 30 years until Navy came back to bowl games, while Washington returned to the Rose Bowl in just two years. There are currently just 10 bowl games at featured article status, none of which are at least 15 years old. This article is on the short side compared to them, but since its been nearly 90 years since this occurred, info is pretty scarce. All comments appreciated.

5137:. The NYT article uses the term: Western. Southwest is an imperfect substitute; however, Western U.S. is already used in this same sentence. It would be redundant to state this same geographical reference again, so deleting from the Southwest seems like the best option. I've checked again and I don't see other issues, but point out anything you believe we may have missed. Thanks. 6259:", in 1893, Burnham took his family to southern Africa where his background proved useful" This is awkwardly worded and I don't think the last bit really adds anything (we say in the next paragraph he was useful). Perhaps make clear why he went. Maybe something like "Feeling the Old West was becoming too tame, Burnham took his family to southern Africa in 1893, perceiving 13483:; the lead is supposed to be a summary of the content of the article. My rule of thumb is to include each section / subsection in the lead in some way (even if it is just a sentence or phrase). The current lead does not mention the following sections (as far as I can see): Hair and technology, Walt Disney Parks and Resorts, Accolades and recognition (at least no awards). 2524:"After the conflict the victims went through a second ordeal: widespread sexual infections and feelings of intense shame and humiliation." Unnecessary use of a colon, simply "Many of the victims suffered from sexual infections and feelings of intense shame and humiliation, and a number were ostracised by their families and communities or committed suicide." will do. 13844:, nominators must consult with the principal contributors if they wish to nominate an article they have not edited. Nominators are expected to be intimately familiar with the article's content and sources, so that they can respond to queries and make any necessary improvements to the article; this is not possible if you have never edited the article and 4118:"Abul Kalam Azad was the first person to be sentenced for crimes during the war." Slightly confusing, since we have already been told of the first person to be indicted and also sentenced (I realise there is a difference) but also, we have no context as to why we are being told about Azad, since we know nothing of what the crimes, or the sentence, were. 10289:

criticisms together -- namely the battery life, the arrangement of the buttons, the lack of battery or storage flexibility, and the camera software features. I would also talk about the bloatware in this particular paragraph. At the moment "Reception" is just a collection of reviews sourced from different publications without any seamless integration.

4517:

document included within Chalk. The second citation is highly problematic. Bisvasa 2005 appears not to be a scholarly secondary source, but publication of primary documents from the Mujibnagar Government for reference purposes. If I have understood that correctly, then it is not a sufficient source for the claim, because we need a high-quality

10283:

a few more weeks in the spotlight. Compared with Walt Mossberg's review, the one written by Pogue has got a lot of coverage. You need to cut a lot of the wording and synthesize the praise into several paragraphs, and maybe bring the criticisms under one. At the moment there is a lot of duplication. You could also get rid of the review scores.

2733:

seesm incorrect. Moreover, it is not available online, so not able to cross-check. Either give actual details of teh full citation (such as, page number, actual authors), or replace that. Also, the bibliographic entry Mannan, Abdul (December 2009). "People in people's war". Daily Star. has not been used as a reference. So, it can be removed.

374:"On April 23, 2007, during a formal session of the Fairfax County Board of Supervisors, Juskalian was recognized for his heroism and honorable service to the United States" vs "The Fairfax County Board of Supervisors recognized Juskalian for his heroism and honorable service to the United States during a formal session on April 23, 2007" 1154: 1150: 9458:

of software and sales, and could benefit from a third-party copy-edit, with a particular focus on "Reception", which I think could be synthesized to remove simply superfluous statements and duplication. For now my job here has come to an end. I would be happy to participate in a future FAC if this article is renominated. Regards, --

3063:

from 25,000 to the Bangladeshi government's figure of 70,000". These two statements are blatantly contradictory (the estimate cited in the previous sentence is almost three times higher than even the highest estimate cited in the next). These statements need to be put into proper context and related to each other, or be left out.

4575:

present because, in the case of this book, Biśvāsa is assembling primary documents, not writing a scholarly analysis. Regarding the first claim, (Khan saying 'I will reduce this majority to a minority') can we get a second source supporting this (or alternatively, a source indicating that Khan does not dispute that he said it)?

13823:. I agree with Sasata in urging withdrawal. This is not referenced in a way that meets current FA expectations. The prose needs work throughout. And there's a further reading section that includes more sources than are even cited! This is a big, complex, core topic, and I would love to see it reach FA level. This isn't it. 883:

It is problematic to determine who did exactly what as nothing was published during the war. Fano & Lawson published the technical results of the work after the war, but I don't know if they throw any light on who did what either. I would be cool with removing the statement if you think it does not add to the article.

6110:"known for his service to the British Army in colonial Africa" He was initially in the service of the British South Africa Company, not the British Army. The two are not the same thing. My understanding is that he only actually joined the British Army in 1900, when Roberts took him on and gave him the formal rank of captain. 9215:; there are no red links but I see some terms that should have them, i.e. Northern Territories (BSA) Exploration Company, Wa Syndicate or Mlimo. Please consider adding more to encourage creation of new articles. 4) "Assassination of Mlimo" section mentions a sacred cave and a village, can we add their respective names? -- 6354:

Burnham and Harris Hammond were included on the board, and Fred Burnham served as president. Roderick Burnham was by profession a geologist and an executive at Union Oil at the time the Burnham Exploration Company was incorporated; however, this relationship is probably too detailed and unnecessary for the lead.

6612:"Once the Sioux had been driven away the mother returned to find the house burned down. Her young son was safe, fast asleep in the basket and protected only by the corn husks." I think we can merge these two sentences; "... burned down, but her young son was safe, fast asleep in the basket with the corn husks." 2527:"The list included members of the Bangladesh Nationalist Party, a political group founded in 1978." Seems unusual for you to mention just one party, and one which formed 7 years after the ordeal. I'd feel more comfortable if you mentioned some of the other alleged perpetrators (groups) for neutrality purposes. 454:

1942, Juskalian boarded the RMS Queen Mary, and along with the other 15,000 soldiers of the 1st Infantry Division, was shipped to Europe" where the source says "In August, the whole division — some 20,000 soldiers — boarded the Queen Mary and headed overseas." I agree that thorough checks are needed here.

3166:

needed, for background, so the readers get an idea of what caused this. Your point on the number of pregnancies shows you know little of the subject matter, 25000 is the number of estimate war babies, which I shall now make clear. Given your personal dislike of me you should not even be commenting here.

13513:

honestly say Keane "created" the character. Finally, the Brothers Grimm collected the fairy tales and edited them, but were not strictly speaking the authors of them (though they did make editorial changes and chose which version(s) to print). So perhaps this sentence would be better as something like

11005:- caption could be trimmed, especially for an infobox image: "Colonel Robert Madgwick as Director of Army Education, Melbourne, 1944" contains all necessary information (Toorak is not mentioned in the article, the exact day of year makes no difference for the image, Australia is clear from the intro). 17043:

e.g., 1st para: "with Roane and Aguilera serviced as co-producers" (very unusual verb choice); "Following the release of Stripped in her next record" (unclear if Stripped was the album before ANOM); "The song was inspired by Aguilera's marriage with Jordan Bratman in 2005" (is "the song" the same as

16267:

reliable sources". Inherent in that difference is evaluating the reputation of the publisher, not just the interview subject. You've used four videos on YouTube as sources, one of which produced by Cedar Point and three not. The reputation, quality and reliability of those other three creators are at

13512:

First off, no one person does all the animation on a modern feature-length animated film. Second, since much of the character's story is taken from the fairy tale (long hair, held in a tower, falls in love with a man who climbs her hair into the tower, even being naïve), I am not sure the article can

13119:

I am nominating this article for featured article status because, after spending several months proofreading, referencing and completing it, I now believe that it is of substantial quality. I strongly believe that it is the most sophisticated Disney-related fictional character article on Knowledge.

12762:

is referring to, since the subject (Aguilera) is missing from the previous sentence. In that case I suggest you rephrase "On June 22, 2010, "You Lost Me" was announced to be released as the third single in the" to "On June 22, 2010, Aguilera announced that "You Lost Me" would be released as the third

12062:

The sentence about how a Navy fleet was called to service the day before the game seems to me like it might work a bit better as a clause separated by semi-colon from the previous sentence. This would join the cause-and-effect that the two sentences produce, and would solve the small problem that the

10813:

paragraph: "The band elected not to utilize the considerable marketing tools that a major label act has at their disposal early on." Says who? Not all bands signed to a major label have "considerable marketing tools" etc. This is more conjecture, and another thing which isn't supported by a citation.

10796:

I am nominating this for featured article because after leaving the article alone for a few years, I had found the time to perform much needed suggested pruning and general cleaning up. Also, the article has just completed a copyedit from the guild. It's ready for the final march... the final funeral

9457:

This article has not been adequately prepared for the FAC process. While the article has been expanded, the references cleaned up, and the prose improved, there exist several issues that I believe cannot be adequately addressed in a reasonable amount of time. The article still lacks coverage in terms

9433:

article, I can identify several similarities between that particular article and this. It takes a lot of effort in researching about a topic like phones and following up by writing and polishing an article such as this one. I wish you all best in your effort to get this to FA -- let's hope this would

4852:

A list of sources is useful to the reader, so I've added a new ref for Britt to the article even though it is a bit redundant. I've moved Montgomery to its alpha location, and I've spelled out the states. I've been through the hyphens several times, as have other editors, but I can't locate any new

4296:

I presented this source "A consensus has formed among scholars that genocides in the 20th century encompassed (although were not limited to) the following cases: Herero in 1904–1907, the Armenian genocide in the Ottoman Empire in 1915–1923, the Holodomor in the former Soviet Ukraine in 1932–1933, the

4023:

The paragraph that begins "Between the middle of May and September 1971,..." needs some work. It appears to me that most of this para is intended to present an argument, that there was a racist motive behind rape as a tactic of war. If so, the first sentence is irrelevant and should be deleted. Then,

3889:

nominating for FAC. If you simply cannot come to some form of an agreement with the others over it then I don't think this ever has a chance of passing. The conditions need to be completely calm and amicable between editors over the article to pass FA. Sorry to see, as a I genuinely thought that this

3775:

input, however irritating and you've been nothing but insulting in return. I'm just waiting for Ian or Graham to archive this as you've overstepped the mark with at least two editors now to continue with this. I strongly suggest you take a look at how you've reacted here and try to respect the input.

3490:. Currently she is not mentioned in the article at all. Now, it may very well be the case that her views are a minority position (and undoubtedly a highly unpopular one in many quarters), and it may well be the case that most of the reactions to them have been critical, but still, she appears to be a 3145:

Overall structure of the prose: much of the presentation is repetitive and poorly structured, with statements being stacked onto each other seemingly more with a view towards maximising the rhetorical effect of the repeated accusatory statements than with a view to their precise logical relationships

2965:

Hmm, couple of points. First, the text as it stands is heavily ungrammatical, including bits that are presumably literal quotes. I can't find the "classical a pose..." bit in either of the two cited sources, and there seems to be a closing quotation mark missing; can you check that again? Second, are

1774:

I am nominating this for featured article because it gained its GA status back in May 2013 and has since gone through a peer review that ironed out any of the cracks. It's a comprehensive article on a relatively small topic, making use of all the academic studies on the subject, and I believe that it

882:

Don't really know the answer to that. My principle source for the history is Levy & Cohn and those are the names they mention in this connection (ie right in amongst the discussion of Rad Lab's development of microwave cavity filters). However, the only specific work mentioned is that of Bethe.

453:

After a cursory check I noticed this close paraphrasing: "constructed from British biscuit cans and their handles made from the wooden slats of their beds" vs. "fashioned out of British biscuit cans with handles created from their wooden bed slats". And this inconsistency with the source, " In August

345:

I fixed all issues mentioned above, with an exception to the last. I can't seem to have it reverted to the original graphic design which would free the photo from all 3D object issues. I uploaded a new graphic picture but it seems like it seems to go back to the 3D artwork. Quite strange. Can we have

14417:

Suggest deleting the whole para that begins "In April 2013, KFC announced the roll out of boneless Original Recipe across all of its United States outlets". First, the article should not be a platform for every single product announcement from KFC. Second, the first reference to "Original Recipe" is

13348:

Although I agree with you, I will wait until the actual review process begins to further discuss the "title"/"occupation" infobox issue. And no, Rapunzel is NOT German; she is from a fictional kingdom from Corona. I have removed it from the infobox several times. However, an anonymous user (as in

13315:

A completely ignorant question, but is Rapunzel really depicted as "German" in the Disney franchise? Or is she merely a fantasy princess in a fairy-tale country? "Nationality" as infobox parameter looks strange here, it would be far more useful to note, that her "Origin" is Germany and the character

11790:

I wouldn't relist this at the guild. If you want this to pass FAC, it will probably take too long for an interested editor to finish work, and you don't know if the copy-editing will be up to par. If you know a talented writer, I'd recommend asking them directly for copy-editing help. If no one else

10282:

I think the reviews are quite lengthy. For example, "considered the HTC One to be a device that would "give HTC at least a few more weeks in the spotlight" in relation to the company's past success and recent struggles" is not significant, since any high-end phone like the One would give any company

6294:

The completed sentence is: "Burnham distinguished himself in several battles in Rhodesia and South Africa and became Chief of Scouts". I don't see where this sentence limits the use of his Chief of Scouts title to the Boer War, but I do agree that becoming Chief of Scouts under Roberts was a bigger

6120:

You have it right and I've updated accordingly. It gets a little more complicated because The Bulawayo Field Force militia reported to Gen. Carrington / Maj. Baden-Powell once the regular army arrived in Rhodesia in 1896, but technically Burnham was never in the British army until he joined Robert's

5469:

Hello Ctatkinson. The problem with this review is that you address the specific examples I point out very promptly, but have not addressed the issues they exemplify. I can return time and again to give you more examples, but "The article has X problem as shown by Y instance" is not adequately solved

5453:

The reviewer's opposed statement is now more than a month old. I have promptly addressed all of the actionable objections raised by the reviewer; however, this reviewer does not return regularly to check whether their objection has been addressed. Without clarifying and actionable feedback, I don't

4410:

Further query re aftermath. It refers at one point to some figures "...before the state programme had even started". Re-reading the paragraph, i am not sure what the term "state programme" is referring to, as Davis's program appears to be international organisation, not Bangladeshi. Can you clarify?

4161:

If 2010a is the first of the two in the reference list, then my reading of it suggests it is not strong enough to substantiate the text "...but human rights advocates are of the opinion that the mass rapes and killings of women may not be addressed". The article quotes only two lawyers, one hopeful,

3672:, this means that it should describe the rape committed on all communities. But I regret, the current form of the article blames "Pakistani military" everywhere. Or more simply, the article is only for "Rapes of Bengalis during the Bangladesh Liberation War". The rapes and atrocities on Biharis, the 3510:

Bose id a joke, her book does not mention the rape victims so is of no use to us, I looked at one of the sources given on the talk page, Bose estimates a few thousand rapes in it. She also says there were only 30,000 Pakistani troops in theatre, it was 90,000, she is not just fringe, she is both way

3494:

academic researcher on the issue, and in light of the amount of reactions she has elicited even in the non-academic media her views are certainly notable. I don't see that simply ignoring her or treating her as pseudo-academic "fringe" is in line with NPOV requirements. Somebody will have to take up

2534:

It would be good if you could find a photograph from 1971 of women in captivity or soldiers. I'd accept the upload of a fair use image from 1971 to illustrate something important in the article and I think you could claim it for encyclopedic purposes. Obviously a photo of an actual rape if it exists

1493:

I have a question - you've put a citation needed on the claim that HTTT is Radiohead's longest album. I'm never sure how to go about citing this sort of thing. I presume it isn't enough to just state it as a self-evident truth that readers can verify by comparing running times? Is there such a thing

12362:

I'm afraid that this falls well short of the FA criteria. Substantial amounts of text are not referenced, and the article has a rather unfinished feel (for instance, the significance of the "Ten Commandments" section is unclear, the "Vote buying" section is amateurish and sexist and the "Protection

12096:

In fact, throughout this section, every construction describing the number of yards in a play uses an en-dash, though it should be a hyphen. Note, of course, this does not apply to the score by the end of the half, which should be an en-dash as it currently is. Also, "23–yards" should not include a

11277:

A short background: The 1924 Rose Bowl was the first time either of the participants, Washington and Navy, ever participated in a postseason game. It was a first for many things, including radio broadcasting. Washington was predicted to come out on top, but Navy led in nearly everything (except the

9271:

This candidate has been here for a long time, but problems still remain and I will be archiving this in a few minutes. I see a mixture of dashes in the references, a template error with DeGroot, E. B. (July 1944), this odd looking citation Los Angeles Times 1900, p. I15 and inconsistencies in page

5650:

branch or whomever. Second always capitalize Native American. "big N" Native is acceptable; sometimes "small n" native is viewed as condescending by some Native people today (no uniformity on this, but the ones who care are the ones who will comment, the ones who don't care won't get upset either

4036:

Estimates of numbers of people raped should not be in "aftermath", they go to the core of the article's subject, and should be included there. The estimates should be discussed in a bit more detail, and notwithstanding the fact that Davis was 'on the ground', his particular views are given far more

2732:

Ok, I have tried to go over the technical aspect of the citations, and corrected quite a lot. Most of them appear ok to me now. Exception: Hadden 1971 citation, which ideally should have connected to Hadden, Briton; Henry Robinson Luce (1971). "Time Volume 98". Time. However, that detailed citation

2530:

Rising from the Ashes women's narratives of 1971 The first translation to English of the oral testimonies given by women who were not just abused, but women such as Taramon Bibi who fought in the war and was awarded the Bir Protik(Symbol of Valour)." Please rewrite this with appropriate punctuation

2328:

I think it would have to be a copyright-free image uploaded to Commons. I don't think fair use comes into play unless we are using a copyrighted full illustrated book cover associated with a specific book, and such an image would normally only be used in an article about that book. Single words and

1089:

I tend to agree with that, but articles of this sort have repeatedly been requested at peer review and FA that the history section be moved nearer the front. The thinking seems to be that the history is easier to understand and may be of more interest to the general reader than technical details.

670:

Article scope: I'm not really happy with how you've approached this, first of all you say that waveguides are hollow metal tubes but then later have to clarify this and say that actually the term is used more broadly (personally I regard the broader definition as being correct with the common term

16487:

I don't think I have much further to add here. We're going to have to agree to disagree on the reliability or suitability of videos and let the delegates make that final determination. FAs have to use "high quality reliable sources", but personally, I can't support some of the sources used here as

9886:

Perhaps you could merge the third paragraph under "Release delays" into the first ie "Sprint and AT&T (who had exclusive selling rights to the 64 GB version) released the One in the United States on April 19, 2013; Verizon Wireless was the last major US carrier to offer the One, having finally

6353:

I've modified the sentence by removing Roderick, but to answer your question, John Hammond Sr. considered Fred Burnham to be a member of his family (he says as much in personal correspondence). Burnham Exploration Company was a joint venture between the Burnham and Hammond families, sons Roderick

5344:

We have addressed the far more challenging issues you raised in the earlier FAR, and I think it would be most unfortunate to withdraw this outstanding former FA based on the few examples you have raised in this FAC. With little delay and only minor edits I speedily addressed the concerns you have

4444:

Thanks for clarifying. The change you made however doesn't really help, and "abortion programme" sounds nightmarish - like a form of genocide. I suggest you revert those words to "state program", and split the second sentence of the para in two, to read: "In the year following the war, there was a

3676:

need to be described too. The lead should also mention it, and the article needs serious fixing over neutrality issues. It seems a Nationalist encyclopedia's article here in Knowledge to me. There is only one section of "Mukti Bahini actions" attribued to atrocities on Biharis, whereas the rest of

3640:

With chapters in edited volumes, you cite the chapter names, not just the chapter numbers. You should also provide the page numbers (the one in the inline harvard ref is just the page reference to the specific passage you're citing; in the bibliography you give the first and last page of the whole

3199:

I see a comment from an editor up above who does not have an axe to grind saying the article is pretty damn good, and that quote was there when he looked it over. You do not get to decide that one quote stops an article from being FA. No other estimates are ignored, they are all there. I am citing

3062:

Also in the "Aftermath" section, there is a statement saying "A doctor at the rehabilitation center in Dhaka reported 170,000 abortions of pregnancies caused by the rapes, and the births of 30,000 war babies". However, the very next paragraph says that "Estimates of the number of pregnancies range

2805:

File:Woman_raped_and_killed_in_the_Bangladesh_Liberation_War.jpg: can we be more expansive with the "not replaceable" rationale? Any more details on original photographer or publication? What steps have been taken to attempt to identify the original photographer? Have to be really careful with the

2194:

scholarly sources. I would be very happy if the article were able to include another academic source or two that support a large portion of the article. Of course, I expect that Doyle White's "The Meaning of "Wicca"" will stay (by far) the leading source for this article. As Midnightblueowl, there

198:

I am nominating this for featured article because it has great encyclopedic value and contains considerable amount of information on a famous Armenian-American soldier. The article is at GA status and also contains a picture which is now at FP. Last nomination did not go through because it was not

16748:

I'm a little bothered that the non-free image of the track layout says the purpose of use is "To show what the GateKeeper roller coaster at Cedar Point will look like once it is completed for 2013" when it is no longer uncompleted. Since it has been completed, other pictures could be taken, which

16214:

I have seen that video, but like the source above, it's about the reputation of the publisher. Do they have a history of accuracy in their publications? Are they known for providing editorial oversight of the items they publish? We're naturally quite skeptical of videos published on YouTube for a

15657:

Just as publication locations are normally listed for newspapers that omit their location in the title, we normally would list the publication location for a TV station. Please add the missing locations, which allows others to help judge the reliability of the sources. (The location for a student

12675:

Sorry, Simon, but this article needs work from top to bottom. English is indeed a difficult language, but nothing's unachievable. I have highlighted some examples from the lede, but there are issues elsewhere, like "Prior to the release two days, a sneak peek of the music video was revealed," and

9236:

Thank you for your excellent input, Piotrus. I've now addressed items 2 & 3. For item 4, although none of my sources provide names for the sacred cave or the nearby village, I did come across some additional information on the location -- not many miles from the Mangwe district. I've added

4516:

I have a couple of issues with the first para under that heading, regarding Tikka Khan. My view is that exceptional claims require exceptional sources, and we don't have this at present. The Chalk source for the first sentence is OK, provided that the WP article is not relying on a primary source

3817:

As has yours, I mentioned above the issues between FPaS and myself, you said what about that exactly? So archive it and be done, so long as that guy is allowed to stalk and harass me then this article will never get to FA anyway, he will not have that cos he detests me, so ya, you have given them

10812:

There's a lot of POV and conjecture in this article - original research technically. For example, one sentence says "Instead, they opted to use quiet web updates on their website while they worked on the record." Where does the source itself say Manson used "quiet" updates? Another from the same

10288:

Since lot of the reviews praise the industrial design, display and camera features (Zoe), I would merge them in one paragraph. In another paragraph I would talk about the quality of the speakers, the benchmark tests, and one or two other praise-worthy features. In the third I would bring all the

6501:

lived in southern Minnesota; however, I'm not sure if it is correct to say that either or both of these tribes are Sioux. Unfortunately, I don't yet know the exact location of Tivoli, Minnesota (a pioneer town, long gone), the 1860 reservation boundaries, or modern the tribal names adequately to

4750:

I am nominating this well-researched article for FA. After considerable labor by Wikipedians over several months to address earlier issues, this former featured article was promoted to GA last month. After reviewing and incorporating recommended changes, I believe the article now satisfies the

4574:

that Khan said something. But we cannot rely on them for that claim as they are neither neutral, nor a historian assessing the validity of the claim. We need a scholarly assessment by a neutral source that, having weighed up the evidence, accepts that Khan said this thing. We do not have that at

4072:

I further edited a proposed revision, to reduce the emphasis on the Pakistani government figure (as it is not an independent source and lies so far outside other estimates. I also reorganised the paras to cluster together all the quantitative data, which strengthens the case for the 200K to 400K

1646:

Question about your last point (regarding the last paragraph of Promotion and release): it seems to me that Com Lag, the b-sides collection, should at least be mentioned. Are you saying because there's nothing more to really expand on, other than to say it exists, it should be deleted? 08:53, 25

1414:

References are occasionally incomplete and/or inconsistently formatted. There's a bare URL and I also see "NME, 3 May 2003, p.27." and "Q Magazine, June 2003" (author and article names?). I also see author's inconsistently listed as "Chuck Klosterman" and "Edwards, Gavin". I recommend a thorough

16237:

I understand being skeptical of items published on YouTube but this is an interview with Rob Decker. The information is coming straight from him. If you have an issue with that particular video, we can remove it because he says the same thing in another video that is used in the article. As for

16127:

As a side note, I'm not in favor of listing PR Newsire as a publisher, since they're republishing press releases, not initiating publication. Press releases are truly self-published sources, so unless there is a specific person or department of the organization to attribute authorship, author =

16124:

in those cases, yet you're attributing them as if they were involved in creating the content. I don't advise that people list Google Books when using convenience links to books hosted on that website; in this case, these are convenience links to a website hosting content originally published by

12622:

There are reference issues too, such as inconsistencies on how publishers are notated (parentheses vs no parentheses) for newspapers and magazines. Sorry, Simon/HD, but this needs a lot of cleaning up and polishing until it is ready. I know you've worked hard, but keep at it. You can get there.

6818:

The Mason's are a club and I've seen his 32-degree certificate in the archives at Yale, but I didn't make a copy and I don't have the date it was issued. Each mason is joins and is promoted at a particular lodge; however, his lodge is probably not important to the article, so I've removed this

4314:

Not sure what you are responding to with this comment. Assuming it is my comment in the last group - i am not trying to open up a debate about whether or not this was genocide, I am simply saying that, when a WP article says something is "widely viewed" as having a certain nature (in this case,

3844:

Do you have a long history of disagreements with these editors? It is a very sensitive topic, and it doesn't surprise me it is disputed on here but if there are valid concerns with neutrality and prose then they need to be addressed respectfully.. And I haven't done anything Darkness, if Ian or

3101:

Nope, the background is necessary to give readers a full understanding of what led up to this, and this has been discussed before and FPaS was wrong then just as he is wrong now, we cannot expect people to have to go read another article to try and figure out what happened when they are halfway

3078:

Regarding background, then do you suggest to remove (or, maybe summarize in two sentences) the initial two paragraphs? And essentially start from December 1970? I had a feeling that background is probably long, but was not sure where to start really. I would suggest Darkness Shines to hear what

5635:

The quote box that begins "Burnham is the sufficient and heroic figure, model and living example, who inspired and gave..." is "sandwiching" text between it and the topographic map on my browser. That's also a wiki-MOS "crime" you now need to fix. Maybe you don't need two quote boxes in that

3165:

I am getting rather tired of your vendetta against me. I have restored the quote you removed, as it is very relevant to the article, what your personal beliefs on what the author knew is irrelevant, he most likely meant it in manner of the common belief of Lebensborn. The background section is

237:

Yes I have talked to members of the A1 Class review. They provided positive feedback. Only one user had a concerns of reliability with a source (#8 and #15) which I personally believe is not an issue. The source is paraphrased in accordance to first hand accounts of Juskalian and can easily be

15977:

New issue introduced: I wouldn't link the locations in the footnotes. Judicious linking in footnotes steers readers to two things: the source itself (or an online convenience copy) or a wikipedia article to allow them to judge the credibility of the source. Linking to the name of a publisher,

6295:

deal than the use of this title in the Matabele Wars -- the Boer War was Burnham's first regular army gig and the number of troops and planning involved was significantly greater. I'm open to further ideas, but to try and keep this simple for the reader I've left this sentence "as is" for now.

3711:

Hehe. Fancy comment by Faizan. Give me a break! Yes, of course for the sake of neutrality, rapes committed by Mukti Bahini need to be mentioned, and those are mentioned, both in the lead and the body of the article. Indeed I was surprised to see the mention in the lead, because the atrocities

3314:

Not worth it. It would be a sensible solution if the quotation was otherwise of some encyclopedic value, but it isn't. Such a discussion would only unnecessarily divert the reader's attention away from the main point, which is that people were raped in Bangladesh. Nobody cares about what some

2665:

there is currently a technical problem. Wen you converted refs to use sfn style, the conversion was incorrectly done. First, you don't need to mention page numbers within the complete bibliography, since you are indicating page numbers in individual citations. Second, for cite book templates,

5488:: If you see continued problems, please keep listing the specific examples so they can be fixed. Either you'll run out of them and the article will be good, or they will remain not fixed and will be a valid reason to oppose. Just talking about generalities is not very helpful, I am afraid. -- 4569:

I think the second claim will have to be removed. I probably did not explain myself very well. The issue is not Biśvāsa himself. The issue is that the book is a compilation of primary source documents from the post-independence government, which was (understandably) hostile to Pakistan. That

2973:

The other thing is, why are we discussing this image here? Right now, the text still seems a bit as if tacked on to the article as an afterthought – more like the text being there in order to deliver a pretext for showing the image, than the image being there in order to illustrate the text.

14231:

For good or for ill, KFC is a global icon and thus is a worthy and interesting topic for Knowledge. I am nominating this for featured article because I believe I have addressed all complaints from previous nominations and that the article is now ready or very near to promotion to FA status.

11581:- I was excited to review this one because we haven't had a good bowl game article come through here in a while, and I have fond memories of reading strong articles in this category in my early days as an FAC reviewer. Unfortunately, I found too many problems early in the article to ignore. 12937:

Basic question: what is this article about, botany or plants? After the History section, the article goes on extensively about plants—their importance, their internal chemistry, their genetics, how they interact with the environment and how they are classified. But all this belongs to the

5532:

the footnotes/bibliography have duplications with the "Works/Biographies" sections. The layout is also a bit atypical. My recommendation is that the works actually WRITTEN by Burnham be moved above the references into the article text and specifically identified as such. All remaining

5233:. Furthermore, this was only an example of neutrality/tone issues - others, if it would help, include "he struck it rich" and "it was said that he could read the face of nature as easily as most could read their morning newspaper" (the latter could be made a direct quote if applicable). 10357:

For the rewording of the Ultrapixel sensor: there's a big difference here - the rewording makes the sentence inaccurate as it implies that the sensors are 1.4 to 1.0 µm, when it's the pixels that are that size. And "the One's competition" is unnecessarily vague and an awkward choice of

16290:

I guess I don't understand why it matters who creates the videos. How can a video of something happening or a higher executive saying something not be reliable? It happened or it didn't. He said it or he didn't. I don't get why it matters who posted it. The information is there, it is

2859:

Since Drik is a commercial agency, this unfortunately puts it in the same class as images owned by other commercial agencies such as Reuters or AP: unuseable unless the image is itself the object (not just a vehicle) of encyclopedic coverage; otherwise subject to speedy deletion under

1593:"a years-long process of recording and editing drummer Phil Selway described as 'manufacturing music in the studio' " Funky wording here. Perhaps insert "which" after "editing", or change "drummer Phil Selway described" to "described by drummer Phil Selway", unless I'm misreading this. 1125:'The first use of these in a filter was by S. B. Cohn in 1965 using titanium dioxide as the dielectric material' - citation for this? There was widespread use dielectrics in coaxial cables and capacitors before this so it doesn't seem much of a stretch to put dielectric in a waveguide. 9664:"high-end Android smartphone produced by the Taiwanese company" Please define "produce". My understanding is that HTC, like Apple (through Foxconn), outsources the main manufacturing job to another company. If HTC is the designer and manufacturer of the One, please say so in the lead. 791:

True, but it is significant to the history. Waveguide filters started off as, and still frequently are, direct equivalents of lumped-element designs. It is unlikely that waveguide filter history would have taken the path it did without the precursor of lumped-element filter design.

17047:

e.g., last para: are these really cover versions if they were just on TV?; "of the eight season British" ('eight-season' or 'eighth season of the'?); "chose the song to perform at the show" (the song performed?); "making three coaches turn their chairs" (what did that indicate?).

682:

on this one. Sources generally refer to hollow-metal waveguide simply as waveguide. It is the common name, ergo that should be the title of the article. It would usually only be specified to be "hollow-metal" where disambiguation is needed. Knowledge can do the same and create

266:). So I decided to bring it directly to FAC. I can expand on the lede a little bit. I agree, the second paragraph needs expansion. The sections I personally believe are suffice since he didn't spend much time in some of those places. I can always combine them with other sections. 4837:

Not done. Further examples include: no citations to Britt; References section is misordered (it's mostly alphabetical, but then I see Montgomery before Hough?); inconsistent in whether states are spelled out or abbreviated; some hyphens rather than endashes in page ranges; etc.

16090:

In this article, PointBuzz doesn't really cite any content. Most of the PB footnotes are used to cite posters or pictures. Also, one of them is a Press Release. That is not written by PointBuzz, it is released by Cedar Fair/Cedar Point. PointBuzz is just the one that published

12547:

and recommend withdrawal. This has not been adequately prepared. There are basic grammatical issues in the lead, and it appears that there is at least one other major contributor to the article that has not been consulted. That editor should possibly be a co-nominator as well.

3122:

Reference formalities: chapter titles in edited collections are frequently missing, e.g. in Mohsin 2005, Khondker 2006 etc. If you are going to cite an individually authored chapter in a collection, then the title of the chapter needs to be cited together with the name of the

10611:: It's not altogether the nominator's fault that he/she was misled by a premature GA grading into thinking this article was worthy of FAC nomination, but it's a terrible advert for the GA process. The article is a candidate for a swift GAR, but is seriously misplaced here. 4092:"...by John Tulloch to be as "classical a pose as any Madonna and Child, however the image is that of a woman, it is not possible to determine age who had been raped repeatedly" Something wrong here - there is no close quotation mark and it does not appear to be a sentence. 3644:, but there are certainly more.) Another (harmless but cosmetic) issue: capitalization in titles is not consistent yet. Use either title casing or normal text casing throughout (or, for a fancy option, use title casing for book titles and normal text casing for chapters). 13782:

I am nominating this for featured article because the article is about one of the most important branch of mathematics. The article is complete, having good exemplary pictures, complete history of its development and the mathematical derivations on its major components.

13280:

Not offended in the least, so don't worry about that. If you had limited your observations to fictional characters in the first place, I wouldn't have felt the need to comment. Anyway, on with the FAC and good luck. I'll hat this to avoid disturbing the FAC further.

13261:

Well, you were obviously offended by my previous comment which, by the way, was not my intention. What I meant to say was that I have yet to come across a well-written FICTIONAL CHARACTER article that does not use a FICTIONAL CHARACTER infobox. Please note that there

8860:"Howard went to Africa and became a mining engineer in the gold mines of Johannesburg, South Africa and later wrote a text book on Modern Mine Valuation." → "Howard moved to Africa, became a mining engineer in the Johannesburg gold mines, and later wrote a text book on 2736:

Now, another big task. The bibliographic entries should be sorted alphabetically. For determining alphabetic order, consider first author's (last) name. If no author present, you can use the title of the work (title of the book, or title of news report) for alphabetic

3033:" programme. The author of the quote clearly had no idea what the Lebensborn actually was. I'm irritated to find that the main author of the article recently clandestinely reintroduced this passage, after agreeing during a discussion last year that it was misleading 13589:

Another FA criterion is that the article be complete - could a comparison between the Grimm fairy tale version of the character and this one be made? The fair tale character becomes pregnant by her suitor, her hair is not magical, but she does have magical healing

13137:: This is a nice article but the infobox—with its "Species: Human | Gender: Female | Title: Princess etc"—is, frankly, extremely silly. Those sections are better off for an animal's or an officeholder's infobox, not a cartoon character's. It also provides an overly 3029:, for two reasons: first, it is quite off-topic, talking about some author's personal feelings in dealing with the atrocities. Secondly, it quite unnecessarily diverts attention from the main topic through a rather misleading and confusing comparison with the Nazi " 5547:

I'd like to see the lede bulked out a little more; it's a bit light. His military service is quite extensive and probably needs a better summary in the lead, WP:MOS wants a lead to not be too long, but I think three to four more solid paragraphs is easily doable

10660:

cited to reliable sources, which this is not. If you are able to address the shortfalls, pls consider taking it to Peer Review before returning to FAC. In any case, per FAC instructions, pls do not nominate this or any article here for at least two weeks. Cheers,

12946:

is relegated to the See also) what are the different approaches to studying it (for eg social sciences have a structuralist approach and a Marxist approach etc)? Are there any ongoing debates? What are the major prizes awarded for stellar work in botany? And so

16125:

others. (And that re-publishing may or may not be a copyright violation.) If you are citing posters, cite the poster, not the website. For the others, you still have the issue of whether or not Point Buzz meets our requirements for sourcing at the FA level.

11696:

The "team named desire" nickname should be explained somewhere, preferably in the body of the article. I just looked down there and saw nothing indicating why Navy was called that. I can imagine non-college football fans feeling completely lost right about

5413:

I've withdrawn my suggestion for withdrawal, but I'm still finding more issues with this article. I haven't rechecked paraphrasing issues, but while reviewing I also found some prose issues, for example "always careful to keep a rifle within arms length".

3926:

Your issues were addressed previously, the consensus is that the atrocities carried out by Pakistan and the militias far outweigh the revenge attacks, the weight was given accordingly. If you wish to suggest an addition please use the article talk page.

3066:

About the same citation: I can't check the source online, but did the Dhaka doctor really "report" these figures, or did he just estimate? "Reporting" entails that he had the means of accurately counting based on direct observation. This would be quite

8511:"an old friend from Africa"; while most would realise what you are actually saying, some could misunderstand and think Hammond was actually from SA/Rhodesia, which of course he wasn't. maybe reword to "an old friend from his time in Africa", or similar 116: 104: 4238:"Pakistani General Amir Abdullah Khan Niazi claimed that thousands of men and women had been killed or raped in Chittagong". Only use of the word "claim/ed" in the article - can you explain why this is the only place it is appropriate that it be used? 9404:

of time and effort into this article. I got it up to Good status, and even after a peer review where literally nothing happened, a few more editors joined in to make further improvements to the article. But now, I think we're ready for the big time.

12381:, and urge withdrawal. Referencing is really not adequate, including the presence of tags in several places. The lead isn't an adequate summary of the article, and the several citations and large quote included there aren't really in the spirit of 9211:. 1) "Film and stage accounts" and "Tributes" are in an unnecessary and MoS-unrecommended bullet point list. Please rewrite to prose. 2) Add Queen's South Africa Medal and British South Africa Company Medal to infobox. 3) The article should respect 1539:

I included it because it always comes up in discussion of the album's criticisms, particularly from the band and Godrich - "it's too long", "not enough editing" etc. With that in mind, it might make sense to move it to that area, or just delete it.

5646:: First off, when possible to use tribal affiliation, that is nearly always preferable to just saying "Indian" or "Native American." In the examples above, if "Sioux" is as good as you have, then use it, even if you can't narrow it down to the 3222:, that is); it also, by failing to correct or hedge this presupposition, carries the implication that it is indeed true. This is historically misleading – and quite unnecessarily so, because the whole comparison is extraneous to the topic anyway. 120: 100: 112: 6744:"He traveled in northern Mexico and the American Southwest, including Texas and Oklahoma Territory, earning a living as a buffalo hunter, cowboy, and prospector, and he continued working as a scout" Maybe "He traveled in northern Mexico and the 2917:

Yes, but it would have to be sourced discussion of the image itself, i.e. as a notable photographic work (the history of how it was taken, its aesthetics, its impact on public opinion etc.), not just a discussion of the things the image shows.

1614:: This paragraph is very short, and discusses two ideas which are completely unrelated to one another, and neither is fully developed. If these snippets can't be expanded upon, I believe they should be deleted. Catch-all paragraphs are no good. 14247:

I would suggest finding a picture of the most recent store design. I swapped out the KFC/Taco Bell pic for one showing the most modern store design, but if you can find a pic of a recent-build standalone KFC to complement it, that'd be nice.

4248:"Sheikh Mujibur Rahman called the victims birangona ("heroine"), but this only underscored the fact..." The expression "this only underscored the fact" in this context appears to me unencyclopedic and designed to emphasise the view expressed. 7622:"Returning from the Boer War on the RMS Dunottar Castle, July 1900." Dunottar Castle should be italicised. The image caption here is intrusive and large; if you like I can try to make something similar to what we have on the directors image 12767:

I don't think the article is ready for the star. It failed to make it to GA status, and the PR I don't think has yielded much fruits. I suggest you ask somebody else, if you haven't already, to have a look at the article; I would recommend

15914:

Also, there is a vast inconsistency between listing TV stations as "WKYC", but "WWJ-TV". Either they all are listed with the "-TV", or other appropriate, suffix, or they aren't. Honestly, they should have the appropriate suffix applied.

4528:

Leaving aside the sourcing issues, both sentences need to specify who is claiming that Khan said these things. First sentence: "He reportedly said... " (ie. who reported?). Second sentence: "Khan is also reported to..." (ie. reported by

3183:

the 25,000–70,000 estimate was only the estimate of births (comparable to the doctor's figure of 50,000, which would be within a logical range), but then you changed it again claiming it was "other estimates" of the total of pregnancies

1446:

song, the Music section is too long and stubby-looking. Also when you have a lyrics section, what is the point of discussing it again? I suggest scrapping the songwise sectioning, and moving the best info to augment the music and lyrics

10321:

At the moment I am slightly leaning towards oppose, as I think the article has got several more issues. I would like to hear a few comments from one or two other un-involved reviewers, and see my points addressed, before I can shift my

5270:

and some instances of close paraphrasing (ex "His expeditions in Rhodesia were so important that the Royal Geographical Society elected him a Fellow" vs "His expedition was so important that the Royal Geographic Society elected him a

2159:

as a periodical title, and had assumed incorrectly about that material's origins. I don't suppose there's any chance of a page number there, either? I do still have some questions about that Fields source, though. For starters, what

1098:

in layout. I am not inclined to change it now that a format has been established by precedent - if I did it will end up being changed back and forth on every reviewers whim. If the community establishes a preferred layout, through a

3327:

Again your thoughts on what the doctor thoughts being mistaken have no place here, it is obvious he meant it in the common perception of the word. I am happy removing the block quote and paraphrasing it if that would suit you better?

1399:

It's clear you've worked hard on this article, but there are errors—both minor and major. As you wrote on the article talkpage, you should get a fresh pair of eyes to look at the article (at peer review or the league of copyeditors):

2779:

Uhh, don't sort stuff when you're in a state of insomnia. That list was still a complete mess. I fixed it some now, but I don't guarantee it's completely correct yet. Also, please don't forget those chapter titles I mentioned below.

13156:

I have removed the species, gender and title from the infobox. However, I must disagree with your idea to remove the infobox completely because I have yet to come across a well-written (FA, GA or B-class) article that does not use

12609:"It was successful on the Hot Dance Club Play chart, where it reached number one."—why not just get to the point and say "It reached number one on the Hot Dance Club Play chart". From that, we can infer that it was successful there. 214:

Just some very quick comments: lede is awfully short for an article of this length, paragraphs are somewhat choppy (many are quite short too, as are sections). May need some extensive polishing. Have you tried the MilHist project's

4064:"Estimates of those raped vary from 200,000 to 400,000" - except that later, the article states that the 1974 commission supplementary report estimated "hundreds" - which should presumably therefore form the lower end of the range? 13593:

While it is clear that a lot of work has been put into this article, I am leaning to a reluctant oppose as it does not meet the FA criteria and it seems as if too much work may be required to get it to FA standards while at FAC.

11680:"For his performance in the game, Navy quarterback Ira McKee was named the game's most valuable player." The double use of "game" is a prose redundancy, and I can't see any need to have two of them. It should be easy to chop one. 8573:"Burnham died when he was 86 on September 1, 1947 of heart failure at his home in Santa Barbara, California." maybe "Burnham died of heart failure at the age of 86, on September 1, 1947 at his home in Santa, Barbara, California." 13953:

I am nominating this for featured article because this article covers the criteria for FA and a good article.The person is also one of the most influential personality in cricket history.I have also contributed significantly to

5061:

Other material is not supported by the cited source. For example, "Burnham and Armstrong waited until Mlimo entered the cave and started his dance of immunity, at which point Burnham shot Mlimo just below the heart" is cited to

4804:

Someone ran a bot on the article a couple of days ago and I see it introduced a few small errors in the references. Carr was one of those, and I've just fixed it. I'll have this corrected this weekend. Thanks for letting me

16651:

Not sure the year is needed in "The auction ended on May 6, 2013." Based on the previous sentence, it's obvious to the reader that the auction had to end in 2013. I feel the same way about the year of the media day in the next

9990:"While most high-end smartphones used 8- or 13-megapixel cameras at the time of the One's release, the size of the pixels in their sensors have ranged from 1.4 to 1.0 µm, both of which are considerably smaller in size." --: --> 7207:"he left within the hour" Why not "he left immediately" or "he left within minutes"? Also, why "Although"? Considering the vast distance involved and the urgency of the appointment, one would surely expect him to leave quickly. 1878:

scholarship. As such it contains much historically erroneous information. Placing it in "Further reading" might imply that it is a good source for readers to gain further, accurate information, but quite simply it isn't. Best,

8691:"Nada (May 1894 – May 19, 1896), Burnham's daughter who was the first white child born in Bulawayo, died of fever and starvation during the Siege of Bulawayo" Maybe "Nada (May 1894 – May 19, 1896), Burnham's daughter, was the 8444:

I've added alt tags to all of the images. I think that does it for all of your comments, except for the tribal affiliations. Thank you for your insights on how we should address Native American issues. I work on this next.

2876:

How does one go about getting permission? If I mail them to ask if they would be OK with a single usage for this article and they retain copyright, is there someone on Wiki they need to mail? Or a special form they need fill?

5533:

works/biographies not used in the footnotes/bibliography should be consolidated into (in my opinion) a "further reading" section, though if you wish to break out the biographies from the scholarly papers, that would be fine.

3200:

all estimates per NPOV, which kinda says we have to. Why not go and pick on someone else and leave this for uninvolved editors to review. And if you will not discuss the quote you can remove the pointy tag you added, cheers.

3484:, who apparently calls into question the extent and the planned/deliberate nature of the rapes by the Pakistani military. Covering this minority view was recently suggested on the talk page but met with angry rejection from 11559:

issue, which might need further discussion. Thanks for the source and ref formatting check (although, just for the record, you forgot to include the book by John Charles Hibner in the overview part above). Thanks again, -

2087:; despite my belief to the contrary, this does appear to be a comprehensive literature review. I wish we had access to the original publication of the Seims content and to more complete bibliographical information for the 11747:

I was surprised to find that the article was copy-edited before being brought to FAC. The lead didn't feel polished to me, and my impression is that the rest of the article needs another copy-edit. I just don't think that

11447:? It appears that the print edition (linked from the OCLC) never used the city in its name, but the electronic edition (linked from the ISSN) did. At the worst, you have conflicting identification numbers in your citation. 11326:

Footnote 2 is apparently using "96 Years" as a location, yet that isn't a location reference in the linked webpage. Also, the website appears to be named "College Football at Sports-Reference.com", not what it is credited

1427:

It's not hard to imagine that EMI will keep reissuing the album every five years until the end of time, with new "deluxe/bonus/exclusive" material. IMO there's no need to list all that here. Only the original tracklist is

13522:

In the Disney film adaptation, Rapunzel, a princess born with long, magical golden hair, is abducted at infancy and raised by a vain woman named Mother Gothel, who exploits her hair's healing abilities in order to remain

3770:

react this way to any criticism of the article. "Get real, this was discussed before, and there is noway in hell" far exceeds the expected manner of candidates here. It's one of the main doctrines of FAC that you respect

1636:

Thanks for the comments! All helpful. I definitely agree with both of you, now, that the Music section should't be divided by song; I only did that because I'd seen it on other FAs, but clearly it isn't justified in this

1936:

article which is not focussed on etymology. The ref and associated content was removed from the main text as a result of a recent peer review but the ref details were accidentally left in the bibliography (now removed).

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Going to have to think about this more - i think it may reflect a broader structural issue in the article, but not sure. Regardless, the text is much improved. If I don't come back to you by Monday, ping me again. ]

3495:

the challenge and add a fair and balanced discussion of her position, which maybe won't be easy (and somehow I have doubts if those editors who have been working on the article so far have what it takes to do this.)

13349:

one who does not use an account) insists on re-adding it to the infobox despite the fact that I have explained to him/her why the information is incorrect several times. I will remove the information once again.--

11664:"before attempting a game-winning field goal. The field goal missed...". Try not to begin a sentence with something that appears in the conclusion of the prior sentence. Here you can use "The kick" as a substitute. 4457:, a physician who participated in the programme, estimated that the commonly cited figures were probably "very conservative" compared with the real numbers". Would that accurately reflect the sources in your view? 3696:

Get real, this was discussed before, and there is noway in hell that both communities were "equally affected" That is so wrong it actually defies belief. The MB atrocities are mentioned in the lede per due weight.

2986:

Same image, two different names given. The text is tacked on. I wanted to know how much needs be added so we can use the image. I choose this image as it is discussed in two academic sources and is notable for it.

9136:- as most images in this article come from the same source via OTRS ticket #2013061810006694, those should be OK. However, could you get them tagged with OTRS-tags aswell (or alternatively add a publication date)? 9057:

Thank you for all of your review work and improvements. I need to take another look at the article tomorrow and see what I can do to work about a few small issues that we have introduced with these recent edits.

4135:

The man's name is wikilinked to an article on an unrelated person. And, while we now have text on what his crimes were, which is good, we don't have text on who he was. A commander? A regular soldier? A general?

3406:, which does NOT have the quote by the doctor, reads good enough. For now, Darkness Shines, I think it is pretty ok to not have the quote, and move along. There are other things to take care of in this article.-- 2966:

the two passages really talking about the same image? The one source seems to be talking about an image titled "Brave Woman", the other about one called "Shamed Woman". Are they the same? I assume one of them is

1508:

Fair enough. I'd say its length is self-evident, maybe even that it's the longest. But, if no other reliable source discusses this fact, how do you know that it is important enough (i.e. it's not just trivia) to

8596:"At a private ceremony he was buried at Three Rivers, California, near his old cattle ranch, La Cuesta." → "He was buried at a private ceremony at Three Rivers, California, near his old cattle ranch, La Cuesta." 8688:"and the Montana cowboy "Pete" Ingram who survived the Shangani Patrol massacre along with Burnham" Maybe "and "Pete" Ingram, the Montana cowboy who had survived the Shangani Patrol massacre along with Burnham" 11991:

below. Perhaps this is a generic mention of the type of recognition, and the one further into the article is a specific reference to the award. I don't know what's best here, but figured it was worth flagging.

8477:) (who forgot to sign his post; I've moved it up to prevent further confusion). Good work so far, I will have some spare time later today so I will have another look through and comment on the later sections. 6149:

I've left this "as is" for now, but I'm open to further discussion. The Sioux Nation was composed of various tribes, and Burnham spent part of his pre-teen youth with different native americans in California

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I am nominating this for featured article because the article has greatly improved over the past few months.This article also passes all the criteria for FA.Also Sunil is one of the best footballer of India

4512:

I have done some restructuring to attempt to group all text that related to description of actual events under the "Pakistani Army actions" heading, including the key line about estimates of number of rapes.

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article, but not for this one. For this article, the war itself is only the background; its ultimate political causes (i.e. the background of the background) do not need to be rehashed here at such length.

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in which Seims' article appeared, so have relied purely on the online version. In this instance, I don't think it would be possible to ascertain the page numbers. I will get back to you on the issue of the

16555:

History: "The memo also said the new coaster will have a 'Front Gate Statement'". Since the construction of the roller coaster is no longer a future event as "will" implies, that should be "would" instead.

14355:"KFC also began a back to basics makeover of the brand image..." That phrase 'back to basics' is marketing magazine colloquialism that has no particular meaning. Edit it out and just describe the changes. 10806: 6584:"Rebecca (Elizabeth) Russell Burnham" Was Elizabeth a nickname? If so it should be in quotation marks: Rebecca "Elizabeth" Russell Burnham. Also her name should be given above where she is first mentioned. 13547:

Originally planned to have been voiced by actresses Kristin Chenoweth and Reese Witherspoon prior to Moore's involvement, Rapunzel's personality was inspired by those of actresses Natalie Portman and Amy

2635:

I used that with the upload wizard, so if the image is discussed in the article it is a definite keeper? Cos I am sure I saw this image in a book, I will have to trawl through my e-books and hard copies.

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Apparently Ahmed published quite a number of images touching on the topic, so why would we want to make this particular one a subject of discussion at that point in the article? Not quite convinced yet.

2717:

The newspaper citation do not jump to the bibliography as no page numbers, do I did an experiment, and added for one p=BBC, (p-can be publisher?) and it works, is that OK? If so I can get the rest done.

2613:

Some would argue that fair use would require making some sort of commentary on the photo itself, but in this case I think minimal commentary indicating what it illustrates would suffice. Remember to use

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to the citation templates so that we aren't sending people to the archived copies. (I would also advise that you continue to pre-emptively archive as many of the rest of the news articles as possible.)

7778:

Oh, I wasn't proposing you take it out, I quite liked it and just pointing it out in passing. I wouldn't worry about its "family friendliness" as kids wouldn't get the joke; it should stay in, I think.

4350:

I thin I have gotten a fair few of the issues you have raised, however I am wondering where you think the estimates of those raped ought to actually go? I cannot see any other section they ought to be?

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With Sourav as the host, can cricket be far behind? Thus, the quiz rounds are named Selection, Toss, Power Play, Cover Drive, Googly, Slog Over and Bapi Bari Jaa (Ganguly's war cry after hitting a six)

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No, because I still don't see why that part of the doctor's opinions and feelings is even relevant, even independently of the fact that they also happen to be factually wrong on that extraneous issue.

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The remainder are from various college- or Rose Bowl-related websites that also pass muster. It would be better to directly cite the book that is excerpted by the website in footnote 26, if possible.

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Minor comprehensiveness and citation particularities aside, there is one other issue which I think should be raised here. On the talk page, there was some discussion about changing the lead image—to

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With all due respect, I disagree with the assertion that this article might not be comprehensive. Doyle White's paper is the only academic article ever published devoted to the etymology of the word

1116: 1073: 4598: 4584: 4564: 4480: 4466: 4439: 4393: 4381: 4360: 4338: 4324: 4309: 1044: 1015: 986: 957: 925: 896: 866: 837: 805: 108: 13289: 13275: 11096: 6284:"and became Chief of Scouts" but he was already a Chief of Scouts at the time of the Shangani Patrol in 1893? Maybe make clear the significant event was his becoming Chief of Scouts under Roberts. 9991:"While the One's competition typically use 8- or 13-megapixel cameras, their sensors ranged in size from 1.4 to 1.0 µm, both of which are considerably smaller than that of the UltraPixel sensor." 9724:"on February 19, 2013, in New York City as HTC's 2013 flagship smartphone, and is the successor to the company's 2012 flagship model," Repetition. Make sure that all dates are followed by commas. 8718:"She was buried three days later in the Pioneer Cemetery, plot No. 144, in Bulawayo, Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe)" Maybe "She was buried three days later in the town's Pioneer Cemetary, plot No. 144." 4420: 4265: 4227: 4179: 4145: 4082: 3871: 3857: 3827: 3812: 3799: 2727: 2705: 2691: 2608: 2582: 2569: 2340: 2265: 1850: 1836: 775: 448: 305: 13649: 13609: 13358: 12394: 3721: 3548: 3534: 3415: 3309: 3295: 3111: 2854: 2840: 2774: 2760: 2746: 2397: 2206: 2073: 1888: 1869: 1820: 1806: 13692: 12612:"The video gained positive feedback from critics, who sees it as a return for Aguilera..."—I'll assume good faith and say the "sees" is a typo? The tense is incorrect too; should be past tense. 10822: 4990:

Some material in the article is unsourced - for example, "he and Blanche settled down to tend to an orange grove in Pasadena, California, but within a year he was back prospecting and scouting"

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In "Father of Scouting", you call Burnham "low-key". Really? His exploits sound fairly dramatic to me. It makes sense once you read the "Personal life" section, but seems out of place here.

4664: 3754: 2509:"The intensity of the West Pakistani military action surprised international observers and Bengali nationalists, since the pro-democracy movement had been peaceful till then." I'd source this. 1251: 504: 463: 432: 414: 16708: 16676: 16611: 16348: 16020: 15995: 15938: 15774: 14091:– If we have the nominator inserting blatant plagiarism into the article, I don't see how this can possible continue. What other damage has been done to the article that we don't know about? 10854: 10135: 9873: 9836: 9807: 9777: 9744: 9712: 9690: 9631: 9577: 9548: 8757: 8734: 8711: 8681: 8658: 8635: 8612: 8589: 8559: 8348: 8010: 7965: 7908: 7876: 7849: 7822: 7769: 7741: 7710: 7170: 7143: 7115: 7088: 7061: 7033: 6988: 6960: 6932: 6886:"Burnham went on to oversee and lead the Northern Territories (BSA) Exploration Co. expedition" Perhaps "Burnham oversaw and led the Northern Territories (BSA) Exploration Company expedition" 6799: 6780:"The young Burnham eventually went on to attend high school in California but never graduated" Maybe "Burnham eventually went back to California to attend high school, but he never graduated" 6771: 6735: 6708: 6681: 6654: 6629: 6603: 6575: 6515: 6474: 6195: 6167: 6130: 6101: 6078:"Other work" You don't need a full stop (period) at the end here as this is not a sentence. I'm somewhat bemused by this choice of words: "wealthy oil man". Do we really need to say he was a 6069: 6042: 6015: 5987: 5955: 5441: 5146: 4973: 17131: 13573:

Her physical appearance and personality have caused much comparison to be drawn between her and preceding Disney Princess Ariel from The Little Mermaid (1989), by whom she was also inspired.

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through the growing El Pollo Loco restaurant chain, and also with the introduction of Burger King's BK Broiler, a grilled chicken burger, both of which were poaching sales from the company.

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chapter.) Also, please don't forget there's still the issue of numerous entries that have both editor and author names but lack chapter titles (I've fixed a few of them to show what I mean

2348:

Considering the problematic issues have been addressed, would any editors out there consider offering this FAC their support? Conversely, are there any other areas in need of improvement ?

2172:

in South Africa. If that's the source, we should make that more clear. Meanwhile, I'll try to take a closer look at Scarboro and Luck to see if its applicable, and check the back issues of

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This is the review of a candidate for Feature Article status; part of that is not just ensuring that articles use "reliable sources", as Knowledge uses that term, but that they are using "

14486: 14452: 14431: 14422:. It doesn't matter whether it is a concept store, it is still largely reproduction of KFC marketing announcements in news outlets - and it is so good to know it has a patio! Just delete. 11913: 11804: 11785: 11570: 10895: 10372: 9486: 9171: 7956:

To make this less confusing, I've spelled out BSA a couple more times and added a couple of wikilinks. I've also avoided the use of BSAC for British South Africa Company in this article.

6506:

attacked New Ulm in the Dakota War of 1862, but I don't believe he lived on the same reservation as the Burnhams, or at least it's not clear. I've left this as Indian reservation for now.

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by "I have fixed Y instance", because it misses instances ABCDE et al of X. So there are still problems with references, there are still issues with tone, etc, and my oppose still stands.

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Unfortunately, I have to admit that you are right; there is far too much work to be done in order for Rapunzel to reach FA status. Please feel free to close/end the nomination process.--

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I have attempted to address the concerns you had above. I'm going to look back through the article and try to make additional copy-edits. I'm debating on whether or not to relist this at

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Update: similar misattribution in the case of "Totten 2009", falsely cited like an authored monograph but in reality also an edited collection. Same for "Totten 2004". And "Schulz 2007".

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I'll offer my constructive criticism of articles wherever and whenever I choose, thank you very much. Your "fix" to the pregancies estimates doesn't solve the problem. You first claimed

2891:

That won't work, unfortunately, because our policy is an all-or-nothing thing: either a fully free release under a free license such ass cc-by-sa, or the full weight of the NFC critera.

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The lead has already said she is based on a Grimm fairy tale, why does this need to be repeated? Also, why does passive need to be in quotes? If it is a direct quote, then I think by

13531:

In the Disney film, the vain Mother Gothel abducts the infant princess Rapunzel and raises her, using the healing abilities of Rapunzel's long, magical golden hair to remain youthful.

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The "Oil wealth" paragraph is kind of short. Do you think it could be lengthened or, if not, combined with another section? Not a deal-breaker, but it does stand out, to my eye. --

4243:"The events of the nine-month conflict are widely viewed as genocide" - if "widely viewed", then need more than one citation, otherwise we cannot be sure this isn't just Simms' view. 3776:

Generally I thought it was very good and an informative account which was easy to follow and I feel it has FA potential. However, some of the concerns about the prose may be valid.♦

330:

File:US_Army_Airborne_basic_parachutist_badge.gif: tagged as lacking author info, and as this appears to be a 3D object we'd need licensing for both the object itself and the photo.

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The quote has now been closed, but the following phrase makes no sense: "...however the image is that of a woman, it is not possible to determine age who had been raped repeatedly."

13367:"German" is in there again. Have you tried directly talking to the IPer, talk page-style? If you have, and they refuse to discuss the issue, it may be worth contacting an admin. – 10543:

and suggest speedy closure/withdrawal. This is nowhere ready, as the grammatic horror that is the third paragraph and structural horror of the numerous tiny sections make clear. —

5116:

does not seem to support "Burnham was put in charge of both the general organization and recruitment from the Southwest". At this point, a thorough check of the article is needed.

3862:

I posted on your talk page, let this get archived as it is obvious so long as those who have an axe to grind will quite simply not let it pass, I am sorry to have wasted you time.

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the history section would really benefit from being nearer the end of the article so that readers aren't confronted with terms that aren't explained until much later in the article

16966: 16876: 13129: 12603:"The track is a pop ballad which talks about a cheating man, who has left Aguilera's world 'infected'."—misuse of "which". Also, "cheating man" is too unencyclopedic and informal. 5463: 5336: 4788: 4779:

All books now include locations. FN109, The Days of My Life Volume II, is at Project Gutenberg Australia in text-only format without page numbers, so I've referenced the chapter.

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We are nominating this for featured article because we thinks it meets the FA criteria. Several unreliable links have been removed, and more information has been added. Thanks —

8534:

You have some numbers here over 10 written in long form ("eighteen", etc), which should be just as 18, 19 etc (unless they are at the start of a sentence). Look through for these

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Kill all use of "whilst." It's just annoying. "While" is more modern use. (JMO, I suppose if we are talking UK English, it's more OK than in US English, but he is an American)

13550:

The article makes it clear that all three women were actually cast as the voice of the character (though the caption of the three actresses' photos confusingly says they were

12693:

TL;DR – There are issues throughout. I suggest this be withdrawn and be looked at by an experienced writer. Then take this to GAN, where I can assist you. I hope this helps. —

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based in London, but it moved in 1872). Perhaps put "one of England's most famous public schools", wikilinking public school as this means something very different in the U.S.

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Darkness Shines, this is important. You need to be absolutely precise and correct about citation. It matters who actually wrote/spoke. So, please take care of this urgently.--

3354:

Except the Doc is not wrong is he, you are. The links I gave you prove that. And if you are not willing to compromise then the lot can stay and I will remove your pointy tag.

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and others). It is correct to say that he learned the ways of the Sioux, but I thought it might be somewhat more accurate and easier for the reader to say Native Americans.

3849:

hostile attitude shown here which is completely unacceptable here, whatever your history with these editors is. If you can't understand this then perhaps FAC isn't for you.♦

2535:

would be inappropriate, but something along the lines of women in captivity or some event from the period being depicted would really help the article I think.Something like

1389: 17061: 12670: 12641: 12600:"It was written by Aguilera, Sia Furler and Samuel Dixon, while its production was done by the latter."—"latter" refers to the second of only two items on a list, not three. 10191:

I would keep the reference to AnandTech's award and merge it with the other awards to form a paragraph and move that paragraph to the end of "Reception", just above "Sales".

6231:"Sensing the Old West was becoming too tame" "Sensing" implies that he was definitely correct, which I don't think is what we mean to say; perhaps "Feeling the Old West ..." 5251:

Added quotes and ref to fix the soldier of fortune issue. Substituted "struck it rick" with "found great affluence". Deleted to the unnecessary analogy about the newspaper.

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It is when putting anything like that in wartime radars would cause them to catch fire! The citation is in Nalwa, cited at the end of the paragraph. He references Cohn at

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This is listed as a "vital" article. Several users have worked hard for months to get this article ready for featured status. It has just completed a detailed peer review.

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John, many thanks for the detailed and helpful comments and the generous investment of your time in reviewing this article. I'll get to work on your questions right away.

5590:

One of the quote boxes overlaps the article text on my computer. I noted the location in hidden text within the article. It's the only one that does this, not sure why.

4024:

a new first sentence should state this argument in general, then allowing the following material to lay out the evidence and the points made by those who put this argument.

3142:, showing weaknesses in correct use of commas to set off grammatical appositions and distinguish non-defining from defining relative clauses). There are more such passages. 1628: 1372: 17076: 16068:

See the next point below for the crux of this issue; the second FAC didn't address the reliability issue, and the first FAC didn't quite answer the questions posed below.

15459:—in full disclosure, I happen to have ridden this coaster back in June and enjoyed the experience. However, there are issues with the citations that need to be addressed. 13832: 4315:

genocide), we need multiple sources for the claim, thus assuring us that the view is indeed widely held, and not just the view held by the author of the one source cited.

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Period after "Not even a Jumbo Jet soars like this!" is overpunctuation because of the exclamation point in the quote. That takes care of the end-of-sentence punctuation.

16186:

Footnote 5: what makes this a reliable source? (Also note, if the source is retained, it shouldn't normally be re-listed in the "External links" section of the article.)

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comments from the last time this was nominated (closed July 14) still apply: the prose is not close to being "engaging, even brilliant, and of a professional standard".

16716:

Layout: "the first element of the coaster which similar to the dive drops on The Swarm at Thorpe Park and X-Flight at Six Flags Great America." Needs "is" after "which".

13233: 11291: 11113: 10620: 9849:" networks (however" remove brackets and replace the opening bracket with a semi-colon. "LTE networks; however, it does not support T-Mobile's AWS-based HSPA+ services." 2357: 13798: 13150: 11765: 11549: 11014: 10534: 3690: 1456: 13963: 13945: 11250: 11221: 11131: 11072: 10603: 1206:

Image captions appear to be written as for a textbook, which isn't entirely appropriate for Knowledge articles - for example, we don't typically use the "figure" label

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newspaper or a TV station does this second function, but a link to the location of publication doesn't. It's still valuable information to include, just not to link.

14195: 14028:"delivering messages, were beneath his social status. Ganguly purportedly refused to do such tasks as he considered it beneath his social status": why the repetition? 13774: 13577:

Critics have compared her physical appearance and personality to the Disney Princess Ariel from The Little Mermaid (1989), whom the filmmakers cite as an inspiration.

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and suggest withdrawal. This article is almost devoid of inline citations (as indicated by the tag at the top of the page), and is nowhere near being ready for FAC.

13224:

If you think that there are no FAs without infoboxes, you can think again (and perhaps ought to read the TFA more often, plug plug!) From August TFAs alone, we have

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rackets" section doesn't note the growing resistance to paying protection money). I'd suggest that this nomination be withdrawn given that the article is not ready.

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sentence structure, and is something that should be used infrequently in good prose. You could try the semi-colon plus "the Huskies won three of the games" as a fix.

10760: 10670: 4201:"In what has been described as a deliberate attempt to destroy an entire ethnic group..." the use of "entire" here is redundant and carries a POV; described by whom? 2091:

article (I wouldn't consider a handwritten date on a newspaper clipping the pinnacle of reliability), but so long as others are willing to accept that these satisfy

2002:

From a comprehensiveness standpoint, have you considered the following scholarly sources, which appear on cursory examination to have something to say on the topic:

500: 444: 410: 351: 301: 271: 204: 186: 16994: 12372: 12337: 10973: 9392: 5022:

The paragraph about his grandson Russell is cited. I'll check the article elsewhere to see if I can uncover what you mean, or please provide more detail if you can.

2447: 1874:

Personally I'd be a little hesitant about putting that particular book in "Further reading"; the work is by a Wiccan practitioner rather than an academic active in

16189:

I guess I'll assume you didn't watch the video. The information that is cited in the video came directly from Rob Decker, the park's VP of Planning & Design.--

13397:(leaning to reluctant oppose) I saw this on television recently and found the article was at FAC, so I will make some review comments. By the way, concerning the " 13171:

Fine, but I think none of the in-universe stuff (i.e. under the "Information" header) should be here. It overemphasises fictional aspects, which is discouraged by

12884: 10769: 9499:

Please fill out all your references. There are numerous references that are missing the author names and the dates of publication. Please stick to one date format.

8310:"He was one of the original members of the first California State Parks Commission serving from 1927 to 1934" Shouldn't "serving from 1927 to 1934" be in brackets? 4001: 2314:

I am certainly open to the replacement of the image in question, however I am unsure as to whether images of text would be deemed fair use under Knowledge policy.

16397:

Footnote 24: this appears to be to be photos from a roller coaster fan posted online, which doesn't support the information in the article about the arrival date.

12964:

Agree with Indopug. The article covers aspects of botany and plants in depth while failing to give the reader the least idea of what the science of botany is. --(

11632:"which had first been played in 1902 but was replaced until 1916." As far as I know, it wasn't replaced by any other game; it just wasn't held during those years. 3712:

committed by Pak Army far outweighs those by Mukti Bahini. Anyway, if you really want to sound rational, Faizan, come up with some neutrally sourced statistics.--

12912: 12597:'You Lost Me' is a song by American recording artist Christina Aguilera for her sixth studio album, Bionic (2010)."—not sure about "for"... maybe "from" instead? 12521: 11515: 10332: 9444: 6176:"Burnham had little formal education, attending high school but never graduating" Why not just say he "had little formal education, never finishing high school"? 2930:

I have two sources which discuss in detail a specific photo taken, I will add the text tomorrow and then, if you think it enough I can upload the image, thanks.

726: 707: 13988:"Ganguly's place in the team was assured after successful performances in series against Sri Lanka, Pakistan and Australia, winning the Man of the Match awards" 13917: 5091:

Which is fine for that instance, but that was again only an example. A quick check finds another, "Also buried at Three Rivers cemetery...", unsupported by the

2308: 1161:, for instance, makes the same claim in even clearer terms and I can see several Gbooks results for the same thing in in books that are not in my bibliography. 13868: 11087:

Be consistent in how you punctuate single footnotes to multiple sources (compare for example FNs 12 and 13) and footnotes that include an explanation (4 vs 27)

10488: 9099: 9031: 9011: 8992: 8941: 8485: 8429: 8384: 8364: 7787: 5861: 5841: 4772:

Multiple formatting errors/inconsistencies in both short cites and bibliography: FN109 is missing page numbers, some books include locations while others don't

3539:

Never going to happen, anyone who gets the number of troops on the ground wrong gets zero weight, anyone who says the rapes were only a few thousand, come on.

13815: 13083: 12973: 11585:

In the infobox, note A 1 is causing Washington's record to not fully appear. I don't know if anyone else is having the same issue, but it is a problem for me.

16587:

Same goes for "A section of the coaster will go over the front entrance...". Not sure that "would" works here, but I'm sure another alternative can be found.

14021:

Surely there's more about his childhood and family than the short section here? Also "Born into an affluent Brahmin family" is not repeated in the body (per

12956: 12942:

article. The focus of this article should be the meta-aspects (for want of a better phrase) of botany. For eg: how is botany subdivided? (it is telling that

12929: 12538: 16215:

number of reasons as well. As for PointBuzz, it's not quite enough to state they're quoted in other media; an assertion like that comes with a tag for me.

14509: 4797:

Thank you, but there are still inconsistencies: for example, whether page ranges are abbreviated, some missing info (ex date for Carr in Bibliography), etc

3804:

I didn't give anybody what they want. If editors are concerned about neutrality I'd take that very seriously. Your behaviour here has really let you down.♦

2831:

I have tracked down who took the photo, it was Naib Uddin Ahmed. He died December 14 2009. I am now trying to find out who now has the copyright ownership.

2155:

on calling out Doyle White, which is very clearly already employed by the article. I'll also concede reliability on the Seims article; I had not recognized

16032:

Footnote 4: what makes PointBuzz a reliable source? This looks like a fansite/blog to me. The suitability of this source will impact many other footnotes.

15372: 15322: 14241: 3372:. Further attempts at rational discussion with D.S. are evidently hopeless at this point. D.S., continue edit-warring about this and you'll go straight to 3102:

through reading this one. The current background section was discussed before and consensus was that it was fine, and I have since then trimmed it myself.

2497: 1982:

You reference some books by OCLC rather than ISBN, even when ISBNs are available. The Farrar source is 978-0432045701, and Janus-Mithras is 978-1881532026.

496: 440: 406: 347: 297: 267: 200: 182: 15533:

The publisher names aren't needed in those cases though... You didn't list publishers for other notable publications, so there's no need to list them for

4188:

There is some language which seems to me to sound too much like a news feature article or editorial and not enough like an encyclopedia article. Examples:

1418:"But personally it's probably my least favourite of all the albums"—most such in the quotes are unnecessary. The quotes are understandable without them. 16367:, and it appears to be a wiki. Can we replace this with a better source for trademark data, perhaps something from the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office? 14471: 14312: 14223: 12182:

Sorry about the delay, but I read through your changes and compared with the live article, and all of my concerns are now addressed. Great work. I would

10656:-- I'll be archiving this shortly. In addition to the above comments, RRD13, pls note that information in a Featured Article (and indeed GA) needs to be 9429:

In restrospect, there are too many issues that would need to be addressed for me to even re-consider my stance. (edit) As the primary contributor of the

1024:'but it was some time before Kuroda's Japanese work became widely known' - anywhere or outside of Japan? Had other parts of his work become widely known? 162: 11407:

Footnote 12: the publisher is linked here, but it's not the first mention of that publisher. If it's going to be linked, it should on the first mention.

3904:

Get the article fixed, especially for neutrality. It needs restructuring. Issues cited by me stand unaddressed. Or I can aid with edits on the article.

3235: 16116:

Then in that case, you have a bigger problem. I had looked at the first footnote to them that was an article published on their site. The posters, etc

6006:

I've added brief reference to this in his early life. I could add more depth, but Geronimo was not a particularly significant part of Burnham's life.

3020: 12615:"...who sees it as a return for Aguilera from the video for Bionic's lead single 'Not Myself Tonight' (2010)."—this is an odd construction in general. 3234:

Not at all, as most people when they hear Lebensborn think "breeding camp" as that is what the term has come to be associated with, as can be seen in

17044:"her next record"? Did the marriage begin and end in 2005?); "It was serviced as the lead single from the project" (odd verb again; which project?). 14863:

I'd just like to say thanks for the comments so far. They've been really helpful, and I really appreciate you going through an article of this size!

13312:

Others may disagree, but the "title" parameter, or maybe better the "occupation" parameter, is useful here to summarize the character's general role.

11775:, since the last time I listed it there it took a few months for someone to finally get to it. If you find more issues, I'll be happy to fix them. - 9094: 9026: 9006: 8987: 8936: 8480: 8424: 8379: 8359: 7782: 5856: 5836: 2456: 1607:

section subdivided by song? There's not nearly enough material on each song for separate subsections, so it does little more than clutter up the TOC.

1600:: Quotes are cool here, but unfortunately Yorke doesn't do a good job of actually explaining what the arguments were about. Any clues in the sources? 13583:

As directors, Greno and Howard aimed to ensure that Rapunzel resembled a less "passive" heroine than how she is depicted in the original fairy tale.

1972: 13430:

The claim that there are no FAs on fictional characters without an infobox is pretty easily disproved. I looked at the first 12 articles listed at

10770: 10364: 9478: 5229:

I know what the term means, but the description outside of direct quotes is not a neutral one - although not specifically mentioned there, compare

3730:, only the significant parts of the article must be summarized in the lead and the actions of Mukti Bahini doesn't really seem to be significant.-- 402: 364: 6139:"Born on an Indian reservation in Minnesota, Burnham learned the ways of Native Americans as a boy" They were Sioux, weren't they? Why not say so? 5968:

is mentioned in the infobox and lead but is referred to as the Tonto Basin Feud in the body. Perhaps we should make clear these are the same thing

4329:

I was yes, I have copyedited it and added the academic consensus to the article. I have also gotten to a few of the other points you have raised.

15419:

I am nominating this for featured article because... I feel it meets all the criteria to be a Featured Article. It has received a copy edit from

12965: 10314: 7934:

We mention the BSA, but we don't make clear what this is. (This is particularly confusing because to some eyes "BSA" is more associated with the

4292:

Thank you for your comments, I will get on all of that ASAP, but RE the genocide, this was resolved a while ago at a RM on the genocide article,

3663: 1380:

I am nominating this for featured article because I think it meets the criteria. It is already a GA and has been expanded and restructured since.

13431: 3488: 3034: 12024:

I think "...were eligible to be selected." could simply be "were eligible." considering the word "selected" was already used in this sentence.

11937:

Is a semi-colon the proper punctuation to place after "Washington Huskies" in the first sentence? I would typically think to use a comma here.

11414:

Fixed. Sorry about this one, when I first added the footnotes, current ref 12 was the first occurrence. I forgot to fix this after it changed.

1103:

layout guideline for instance, then it would be time to change it, and all the others that previously gone through FA - all at the same time.

13536:

Although based on the heroine of the Grimm fairy tale, Rapunzel was developed into a less "passive" character for the Disney film adaptation.

11259: 11258:

I am nominating this for featured article because... I believe that it meets all the criteria for becoming a featured article. It received a

5604:

I stuck some hidden text into the article where I found some issues or had specific questions. Feel free to remove when fixed or addressed.

3982: 14042: 10298: 5345:

identified. If you have new issues, I would be glad to take a look at those as well and I will continue to comment / address without delay.

4297:

Jewish Holocaust in 1938–1945, Bangladesh in 1971, Cambodia in 1975–1979, East Timor in 1975–1999, Bosnia in 1991–1995, and Rwanda in 1994."

4218:"entire" has been removed, but we still have the passive "has been described", which still needs a subject (ie. who describes it this way?) 3214:

The tag on the "Lebensborn" passage stays. In its present state, the article not only reports Davies' statement, which presupposes that the

16151:

I have used a different cite template for the posters. What if we used Cite Interview for the videos with Rob Decker then didn't link it?--

9723:"on February 19, 2013 in New York City, as HTC's 2013 flagship smartphone, and is the successor to HTC's 2012 flagship smartphone," --: --> 3668:

The article is not upto the FA status, it has many neutrality flaws. Even the lead is not edligible for a Featured article. The article is

3511:

wrong and fringe. Her "work" has no place in an article on Knowledge. She has got to be the most minority view of minority views anywhere.

784:

The second paragraph of History is about the history of lumped element filters which you've just said are outside the scope of this article

717:

I was working here on the principle that the lede should, in as far as possible, be understandable by an anyone and not be too technical.

13554:). Cast (in a role) is not the same as planned (for a role) which is not the same as considered (for a role). Plus the sentence is clunky 13529:

is not grammatically correct (infancy is not a single point or place). This whole sentence could be tightened too. Perhaps something like

11752:

is met right now. I do hope that these issues are fixed and that the rest of the article is worked on because I'd like to see it succeed.

10632:

when it was reviewed and promoted for GA. Due to the popularity of the player (I suppose) the article quickly unraveled. Needs a rewrite.

6402:

That it with this section for now. I'll keep working on your comments about the other sections later today. Thanks again for your help.

3642: 3570: 3185: 3181: 3147: 3140: 3046: 3027: 762:

It may well be that it could be added to that article, but a summary of waveguide development is helpful background in this article also.

9816:"pushed as far back as April" The way it's written tells me it's not really a significant delay. Say "late April" or something like that. 9003:

I don't think we need footnotes in the lead per MOS, so I have taken them out. I will try to do the imagemap for the picture later today

5825: 4450: 13141:

perspective. I feel removing the infobox would improve the article, but even if you disagree you should at least trim it significantly.—

3598:

Hardly a major issue for gods sake, all one need do is change the refs so it says Tonnen is the Ed, I can give the actual author later.

16950: 15356: 14179: 13901: 13726: 13316:

is based on the Brothers Grimms' fairy tales. If i understand the infobox docu correctly, lbl1-3 may be used for such information (?).

13229: 13067: 12868: 12469: 12293: 11616:

Bold links are discouraged by the Manual of Style. For the link in the intro, it will need to be moved to later in the first paragraph.

11507:

The Sports-Reference citations, I will assume are ok. I will defer to others if necessary on the quality and reputation of the website.

11205: 10929: 10744: 10472: 9344: 8421:

I haven't forgotten about this, don't worry, I will get back to it either later today or tomorrow. Well done on all the replies above!

5395:

Nikkimaria doesn't seem to be checking here, so I've left another message on her talk page. Did you have any comments on the article?

4698: 2431: 1722: 1328: 579: 146: 11375:. This goes for the sources that credit the Associated Press (footnotes 13, 15 & 19). Also, footnote 10 should include a location. 9853:"AT&T (who had exclusive selling rights to the 64 GB version) and Sprint released the One in the United States on April 19, 2013." 2536: 15884:

Footnote 61 as the TV station listed as a work, when the work would be a TV program they produce. The station itself is a publisher.

12345:

I am nominating this for featured article because I feel it now meets the FA criteria, and is a fine article with no major failings.

11303:

Footnote 1: normal practice is that for newspapers that don't include their locations in their titles that the location is provided.

11270:. It was listed as a good article back in February, and I have been working on it since. This is the first step in my attempt to get 9852:"The One was released by AT&T (with exclusivity on the 64 GB version) and Sprint in the United States on April 19, 2013." --: --> 5015:

There you have, but that was only an example - the paragraph about Russell, for example, is still unsourced. Please check thoroughly.

4018:"The methodical planning behind the genocide drew comparisons with the Nazi Holocaust" - plural "comparisons", but only one citation. 3987:

Sorry for my loss of temper yesterday, four days without sleep sent me a tad loopy. I would like the review to continue if possible.

3669: 3044: 2457: 5736:

I've reviewed the article at GA and here, and seen the oppose and the actions taken in response. I believe it meets the criteria.--

5562:

I popped in "Citation needed" tags where I saw something clearly unsourced. Hope that's more helpful than "stuff needs sourcing."

1421: 5105:. The newspaper ref already named the family plot, so I've added a reference from Lott with more details of the individuals buried. 11518:, College Football at Sports-Reference.com is "an incomplete but useful source" (and a reliable one, per its listing on the page). 10310: 10148: 13515:

Animator Glen Keane based the film's version of Rapunzel on the title character of the German fairy tale from the Brothers Grimm.

13225: 4298: 2951:

Can you look at what I added in my last two edits and let me know if I need to expand on the text so we can use an image please.

9961:"camera module that contains a custom UltraPixel image sensor, which is composed of pixels that are 2.0 µm in size." Repetition. 5211:

is how he describes Burnham. The term is synonymous with mercenary. Does this now make sense, or can you clarify your concern?

2246:"a national popular title launched from Manchester in 1900 that sold in the hundreds of thousands and survived for five decades" 16523:

sentence structures that are often found to be 1a issues. Since this is in the lead, I'd recommend a minor rewrite to fix this.

14386:"In December 2012, the chain was struck in China when it was discovered ..." I don't understand this use of the word "struck". 13475:

I am not going to comment on everything else in detail, but I do have some other pretty major concerns. FAs have to follow the

13405:

I am an admin, if you want I can semi-protect the article so IPs cannot edit it. Please ask here or on my talk page if desired.

13379: 12210:-- This nom has remained open for six weeks without approaching consensus to promote, so I'll be archiving it shortly. Cheers, 12174: 11910: 11782: 11567: 11288: 11247: 6594:

Elizabeth was her middle name, but she dropped it when she married Burnham. I've removed Elizabeth to avoid further confusion.

2518:

Inconsistency in date formatting with two/four hundred thousand and 5,000 and 30,000 below, I'd rather you wrote it in digits.

249: 17159: 16940: 16886: 16867:-- This review has been open a month and had little activity for the past few weeks so I'll be archiving it shortly. Cheers, 15346: 15292: 14169: 14115: 13891: 13716: 13662: 13558:

could just be something like "Actresses Kristin Chenoweth and Reese Witherspoon were briefly cast in the role before Moore...

13057: 13003: 12858: 12804: 12459: 12405: 12283: 12229: 11648:

En dash in "two-yard" should be a simple hyphen instead. A couple of other stray dashes need similar fixes in that paragraph.

11195: 11141: 10919: 10865: 10734: 10680: 10644: 10462: 10408: 9334: 9291: 6556:

We mention New Ulm, MN being attacked during the Dakota War but we have not made clear how this place is relevant to Burnham.

5113: 5063: 5041:. Found Charles Edward Russell (cousin) and added reference. Additional references added elsewhere to eliminate ambiguity. 4688: 4634: 4196:"indiscriminately killing Bengali civilians". If the source actually uses the word "indiscriminately", then put it in quotes; 2421: 2367: 1712: 1658: 1318: 1264: 569: 515: 136: 17: 13510:

Created and animated by Glen Keane, Rapunzel is based on the title character of the German fairy tale by the Brothers Grimm.

3268:

It is not a misperception, it is what the term has come to mean. I think you may have to learn to live with that. BTW, 2013

1230:

The information for both images has now been fixed. The image caption scheme is following that used in the previous FAs of

17170: 17002:

I am nominating this for featured article because... I feel that it meets FA criteria. Plus, several users and I have done

16897: 15303: 14126: 13673: 13014: 12815: 12416: 12240: 11306:

The OCLC doesn't match up. The one provided is for a newspaper in Providence, Rhode Island, not the newspaper in San Diego.

11152: 10876: 10691: 10419: 9302: 4645: 2378: 1669: 1275: 1158: 526: 11469:

to indicate the format, as was done with footnote 14. Not all web browser can or will display the PDF icon with the links.

1775:

ably fits all of the FA criteria. It would be great if some reviewers could give it a look and see what they think. Best,

379: 15381: 13853: 13845: 13841: 13241: 11791:

comments in the next couple of days, I'll put more comments up, but I don't want to find a bunch of issues at that time.

6837:

As a "soldier of fortune,"—is this a phrase Burnham used to describe himself, or an appellation applied by somebody else?

3648: 3589: 3576: 3499: 3380: 3346: 3319: 3260: 3226: 3191: 3153: 3130: 3052: 2978: 2922: 2895: 2868: 2784: 2131:; to reiterate the argument here, it is no longer possible to ascertain what the page numbers were for the source, sadly. 973:

It means lumped-element designs can be used without further modification other than running through Kuroda's transforms.

88: 47: 13330:

If the character is not depicted as "German", the "Fictional German people" category should also be removed or changed.

9883:

Either mention the major carriers or simplify the sentence to "The HTC One was released in Australia on April 23, 2013."

3286:

You guys may want to add a footnote describing what Lebensborn is, about the misperception, or, the usage of the word.--

1998:

that suggests editorial control; the article being cited appears to be a personal opinion piece of the website's author.

12784:

to FA status. I appreciate that you can only contribute to Knowledge with an intermediate level of English. Regards, --

11271: 10345: 3403: 263: 15943:

You need to double check... you should be citing these stations by their call letters consistently... and you aren't.

9960:"camera module that contains a custom UltraPixel image sensor, which contains pixels that are 2.0 µm in size." --: --> 5684:

Thank you for your helpful review, Montanabw. I have worked on the issues you raised and I believe all are now done.

2245: 905:'Rad Lab developed waveguide cavity filters.' - very short sentence that has nearly been said already in the paragraph 875:'Amongst the well-known scientists and engineers...' - did all these people actually work on waveguide filters though? 367:, I did some spotchecking here and found problems with paraphrasing and accurate representation of sources. Examples: 15747:. The name was changed in 1960. (Yes, they use toledoblade.com as their website address, but the paper is still just 10297:

You haven't talked about the fact that the One is the first HTCpro Enterprise Certified device in the United States.

7024:

Yes, indeed. I'm also disappointed by the brevity of his WP page. I'll need to correct this oversight at some point.

5792:

Thank you for your insights, Coemgenus. I have worked on the issues you raised and I believe they are now addressed.

4723: 3070:

Structure and scope: the "Background" section is far too long. This would be a suitable "background" section for the

1100: 371:"He was an active and respected member of the local St. Mary’s" vs "was an active and respected member of St. Mary's" 12738:

is heavily discouraged unless the subject is not present. "Aguilera described the song as "the heart of the album"."

11122:-- I'm afraid that after remaining open six weeks this review has stalled, so I'll be archiving it shortly. Cheers, 699: 13443: 12790: 12777: 11367:

Footnote 10: International News Service is a newswire agency; it should be included, without the abbreviation, in

11104:

Be consistent in what is wikilinked or abbreviated in References - for example, compare the treatment of Armidale.

10599: 10328: 10249: 10216: 10171: 10131: 10098: 10069: 10039: 10007: 9977: 9945: 9903: 9869: 9832: 9803: 9773: 9740: 9708: 9686: 9649: 9627: 9573: 9544: 9515: 9464: 9440: 8984:

I have done a bit more copyediting earlier in the article as well. I think it is shaping up nicely now, well done.

6913:"R.I.: "Burnham & Armstrong after the assassination of Mlimo. Matabele warriors in hot pursuit." What is "R.I"? 2845:

A company called Drik picture library seem to hold the copyright, at least that is what I have figured out so far.

2018: 68: 10185: 6851:, and he describes Burnham as a soldier of fortune. Here is the reference on p. 191 -- Library of Congress copy: 3256:

Just because that misperception is common is not an excuse for spreading it further, as the article is now doing.

13412:

I believe that semi-protecting the article is unfortunately the best way to approach the situation. Thank you.--

8474: 2615: 2574:

I'd ask User:Jmabel if you could claim use of a fair use image. I think either image would really improve this.♦

77: 36: 15071:

while in the U.S. sales were struggling, where the chain was the weakest link in PepsiCo's restaurants division.

13499:

Rapunzel is a fictional character who appears in Walt Disney Pictures' 50th animated feature film Tangled (2010)

11019: 7134:

This phrase appears in several references, but in none of the sources is there a cite for the title of the book.

3272:

discusses Lebensborn as a breeding programme. So even academic sources seem to have gone along with the masses.

2521:

Delink Nazi before Lebensborn and Nazi Germany wiki link it initially next to Holocaust further up as requested.

14069: 11458:

at the time. I messed up inputting the footnote. But it's fixed now, and Montreal is now added as the location.

11421:

Footnote 16: the link to Images of America redirects to the publisher, and that name should be included in the

11393:, this paper also doesn't include "The" in its title. Also, the location should be included. Ditto footnote 24. 10593:

There is almost nothing in "Personal Life", and the article begs a thorough rewrite. It is simply not ready. --

10300: 9618: 9595: 9587: 6923:

Not sure what this is. It was in a caption and I thought it might be a military term, but I've removed it now.

3645: 3586: 3573: 3565:

In several passages citing the ref "Totten 2008", claims and opinions are explicitly attributed in the text to

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Fixed. I was trying to avoid repeating WWII and thought the context would be taken from the previous mention.

16813:

Trains: Semi-colon before "a first for a roller coaster at Cedar Point" should be a regular old comma instead.

12781: 10196:

I wouldn't use iFixit as a source for the article. It is a niche website aimed a selected group of repairers.

7070:

In quoteboxes you don't need to put a full stop (period) at the end of the attribution as it's not a sentence.

13828: 13266:

a difference between "there are no", which I did not say, and "I have yet to come across", which I did say.--

12390: 9129: 6863:

That it with this section for now. I'll keep working on your comments about the other sections later today.

5163:

Some of the phrasing used is not neutral or has an inappropriate tone - ex. "Ever the soldier of fortune..."

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for it. I also added more information to the article, so I hope it will get the gold star this time. Thanks

16975: 15816:

Footnote 57: the all caps should be reduced to match the case of the rest of the article title/headline per

15505:

is also the name of a publication that is published by Bonnier Corporation. Please audit and correct these.

12606:"However, it failed to gain impact on charts worldwide"—I've never heard this before; can you "gain impact"? 7234:

Why is the wikilink to "Cape Town, South Africa" rather than just Cape Town? People know where Cape Town is.

7042:

A lot of places throughout the article we use abbreviations ("Gen.", "Maj.", "Co."); try to get rid of these

5618:

Work on cleaning up the deadlinks, the WayBack machine can sometimes unearth an archived version of a page.

2970:, but I don't find it that easy to think of that one as a "classical pose" like that of a Madonna and Child. 1855:

Put it in Further reading, makes it easier to find if you need it again and gives readers more to look up.

7623: 7533:

I've added the wikilinks in this section. The lead already has a wikilink from DSO (after Burnham's name).

2751:

OK, I can do that tomorrow, I am off to bed it a little bit. And thank you BTW, you are teaching me a lot.

1182:

Just a comment, as time is taken into account with FAC nominations: this nomination was not transcluded at

752: 12618:"The song has been covered on numerous occasions."—I wouldn't say "numerous"; the article body lists five. 12043:"Washington were selected..." again seems like British English, and should be "Washington was selected..." 10845:- That's 18 days now without the nominator active on-Wiki, suggesting that any review will go to waste. — 2557: 2277: 518:

has been withdrawn by the nominator, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

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Why isn't "Distinguished Service Order" linked? This is also not linked in the image caption or the lead.

5359:

I've addressed all of the issues noted above. If you have still have any concerns, let me know. Thanks.

4293: 15497:

Some footnotes list items as the publisher when they should be the "work". Take footnote 6 for example.

14914:

re-branded with a distinctive red-and-white striped color pattern, cupola roofs and the company expanded

10229:

Please archive all the references using the WayBack Machine, or Archive.is, to protect the article from

4013:"it is today widely seen...". If i recall correctly, this use of "today" may not be consistent with MOS. 3480:

In the recent literature there has been a well-known "revisionist" account of the events put forward by

3239: 15101:—your two subjects for "both" are a restaurant chain and a burger, which don't sit comfortably together 14018:"Ganguly's father Chandidas Ganguly died at the age of 73": extremely abrupt 41-year jump in the prose. 13645: 13417: 13375: 13354: 13271: 13162: 13125: 13107: 11345:

doesn't currently include "The" in its title. Apparently it has never used the article on its masthead.

11063:

for use of "Sir"; it is not entirely clear to me, but "Sir" probably should not be in parens if used.

7804:"Both men recognized that wars were changing markedly and the" you need "that" after and and before the 7342:

you can say veld, not veldt. perhaps also wikilink veld and put it in italics as it's an Afrikaans word

1747: 1235: 1095: 640: 243: 17118:: it would be very helpful if those suggesting a peer review would undertake to carry out the review. 13439: 8100:"and was United States Army's Soldier of the Year in 2003" shouldn't it be "the United States Army's"? 17067:

There are too many of these: copy editing (to a higher standard) and/or peer review are recommended.

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Referencing issue - footnotes refer to Roy 2010a, but can't tell which is a or b from reference list?

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Regarding the page numbers on the Field source, this was an issue that has previously been discussed

2016:

Scarboro, A., & Luck, P. A. (1997). "The Goddess and power: witchcraft and religion in America."

2008: 2006:

Doyle White, E. (2011). "The Meaning of "Wicca": A Study in Etymology, History, and Pagan Politics."

1884: 1846: 1816: 1780: 1762: 1353: 12731:"peaking within the top twenty in both countries." I assume you're talking about the singles charts? 11382:

Changed author stuff for refs 10, 13, 15, and 19 to agency parameter. Also added location to ref 10.

7946:

frica Company, which is also mentioned in this article). Put Boy Scouts of America, with a wikilink.

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Fixed the capitalization. I searched the page, and that was the only case of "Rose bowl" occurring.

11002: 10021: 8962:"The picture was shot on location in and around Bulawayo by RPM Film Studios." Need a ref for this. 4372:

I think I have now gotten the lot? Other than the estimates, where did you think they ought to go?

3369: 2177: 2096: 2065: 935: 604: 171: 13994:"The magic of Indian cricket: cricket and society in India": book titles should be italicised per 12082:

Change "under 100–yards" to "under 100 yards"; no hyphen is needed, and anyway this is an en-dash.

9144:

images from the Burnham family have either an OTRS-ticket or additional publication details - OK.

8642:"in 19th century Rhodesia" maybe "1890s Rhodesia"; also don't think "for a time" is necessary here 8619:

I don't think you need to give his first wife's full name again here; just "Blanche" is sufficient

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No en-dash or hyphen should appear in "175–yards", and "12–yard" should be a hyphen, not en-dash.

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Shame on you! I liked the racy quote, but I've modified the sentence to be more family friendly.

7495:

A few references have hyphens (-) separating page numbers rather than endashes (–). Check on this

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Sukumāra Biśvāsa is a professor, the documents in his book are press releases for the most part.

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the whole 'Theoretical work...' paragraph again isn't really in the stated scope of this article.

1038: 1009: 980: 951: 919: 890: 860: 831: 799: 769: 736: 650: 621: 84: 43: 15541:. (I only mentioned them as part of the point that the publication names aren't the publisher.) 15463:

There is no need to repeat wikilinks in the footnotes; The first time that a footnote cites the

14670:"bucket", which has become a signature of the chain—can't literally be a signature, needs a noun 5873:

Hi, Here are my thoughts on the article. I enjoyed reading it and hope the comments below help.

4853:

issues. Is there a tool you use to check hyphens, or can you show any examples in the article?

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1.It is ... well-written: its prose is engaging, even brilliant, and of a professional standard

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I've addressed all of your concerns above. I'll be happy to fix anything else you point out. -

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to "Reception" where you could, in the caption, talk about how premium the finished product is.

9591: 6752:, continuing his scouting and also earning a living as a buffalo hunter, cowboy and prospector" 5066:, which says that they tried to capture him alive and then killed him (and doesn't specify how) 4552: 4430:

The state programme was carried out by international groups, I will reword it to clarify that.

3461:

I have already removed it, I will go with whatever consensus arrives from the RFC I initiated.

3219: 257: 15596:

probably doesn't need it either. Additionally, you've included the publisher (person) for the

12010:"Navy were selected..." sounds like British English; shouldn't this be "Navy was selected..."? 10200:

seems like a much better mainstream substitute. You can keep iFixit, but keep it to a minimum.

9042:

Way cool! It is much better than the long caption I had to include previously. Nicely done.

3388:

Do as you will, if you will not compromise then this conversation ain't going anywhere is it?

479:- At this level we shouldn't be having this many questions about sourcing and paraphrasing. — 17085:- The article has many issues which should be fixed before it attains a feature level. Try a 17035: 16300: 15424: 13641: 13413: 13369: 13350: 13285: 13267: 13252: 13199: 13158: 13121: 13103: 12908: 12735: 12556: 12063:

first sentence alone doesn't explain why the schools' ticket-selling led to lower attendance.

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Another editor fixed these (thank you!). I think we've finally got this one out of the way.

6844: 6808:

When did he become a Freemason? Was he one from birth? Where/what is Excelsior Lodge No. 195?

6314: 6264: 5833:. After a lot of work I think this article now meets the FA criteria and should be promoted. 4751:

criteria for FA. I hope you enjoy the article and I look forward to your comments. Thanks!

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is linked in the body of the article where modes are discussed in more detail. I agree that

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I'd suggest commas around "nicknamed the 'team named desire'", as it's a subordinate clause.

9621:

under "Reception" where it would nice complement the positive reviews about its hardware. --

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It was published in 1899. I've now added references and publication dates to the BP books.

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at this time (Disclaimer: I initiated the FAR that removed this article's featured status)

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as a self-evident truth on Knowledge? What would be sufficient as a source for this claim?

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No responses for six days, is this nom still live? If not, no point my continuing review

14504: 13959: 13941: 13786: 13762: 13619: 13599: 13335: 13321: 12773: 12724:

again, as per criterion 1a. Here are just some instances where more attention is needed:

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Maybe it's just a pet peeve of mine, but I think you could combine footnotes 60 & 61.

4907: 3673: 1212:

File:Hans_Bethe.jpg is tagged as lacking author information and the source link is dead.

63: 17162:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

16889:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

15295:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

14620:—Is there another Kentucky not in the US? Why does the town specialise in fried chicken? 14118:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

13665:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

13006:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

12807:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

12408:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

12232:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

11144:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

10868:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

10683:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

10411:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

9294:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

5936:"Indian Wars", while obvious from the context, should probably be "American Indian Wars" 5092: 4637:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

2370:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

1661:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

1267:

has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see

17185: 17145: 17105: 17003: 16912: 16872: 15318: 15281: 14478: 14423: 14141: 13971:

This not yet FA-worthy material. There are several problems with the article, such as:

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Statistical summary: One word too many in "but missed the his only field goal attempt."

11772: 11167: 11127: 11068: 11043:? I just think it looks clearer and tidier. Retrieved dates aren't needed for books. ♦ 10891: 10814: 10706: 10666: 10434: 10386: 10262: 9407: 9381: 6749: 6745: 6524:

Do we know where his mother came from in England? We do not need to say she immigrated

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a collage of cutouts (literally or via Photoshop) of historical appearances of the word

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Double check newspaper titles; the current name of the paper in Toledo, Ohio, is just

15375: 14198: 13920: 13401:" comment above, I would say the FAC review began with Indopug's first comment above. 13086: 12887: 12488: 12312: 12148:

I'd be happy to look at this again after these suggestions have been addressed. Best,

11224: 10981:

I am nominating this for featured article because I believe it meets the FA criteria.

10948: 10763: 10491: 9363: 8550:

I've added additional background to this piece and renamed the section: World War One.

5299:

I added the archived link to the minernews article metadata, and simplified the text:

4717: 2450: 2062:, mostly on the reliability of the Seims source and possible comprehensiveness issues. 1741: 1347: 598: 165: 17123: 15600:

yet that's not equivalent to the other publishers listed here which are companies...

14477:

Thanks for addressing those. I will come by later and see how things are progressing.

14077: 14058: 14038: 13864: 13180: 13146: 13093: 12988: 12952: 12925: 12191: 12153: 10612: 10230: 9845:"For 2013, HTC planned to double its marketing budget in comparison to 2012." --: --> 9221: 9073:

Alright, I think that does it. Unless you see something else, I believe we are done.

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The redirection needed to be fixed anyway as the page name seems to have stabilized.

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If a non free image is discussed extensively in the article, then could one be kept?

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Most sources say he lived on a Sioux reservation, but some say Winnebago. Both the

5267: 2806:"unique historic image" rationale, as it's stricter than most of the fair-use tags. 2195:

doesn't appear to be any other article that give this subject such a full treatment.

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Jamaica mentioned in the lead but not in the main text it is supposed to summarise.

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Just in the lead, the first two sentences could be combined, tightening the prose:

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I believe I have now addressed the issues you raised. Thanks again for your help.

7858:

Perhaps change the semicolon between the last two snippets to a full stop (period).

6979:

Bad oversight. His full name and wikilink are in the lead, but should be here too.

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Sadly yes, per the previous consensus, as it stands I believe due weight is given.

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stadium" to reduce the likelihood of confusion between the event and the building?

11705:

I tried to give a short explanation of the nickname down in the aftermath section.

11039:

I'll take a look at this later but can you separate notes from the citations like

2682:

Shit man, I spent about three hours faffing about with that ( Will go fix it now.

2483:

I am nominating this for featured article because I believe it meets the criteria

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Not from the lead, but just too bad to not mention here under failing to meet 1a

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and the relevant policies and guidelines. However, the lead here does not follow

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Looking ahead to Washington: I see "Rose bowl", which is improper capitalization.

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Thanks for looking at the images, GermanJoe. I'll review the two you mentioned.

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The Geronimo Campaign is mentioned in the infobox but nowhere else in the article

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Do you think we can fix the weird parentheses issue on the "buried at" parameter?

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If there are long-standing issues with the article they really need to be sorted

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Combining would be better, particularly to keep the TOC a bit more manageable. —

238:

verified with other sources. All other people were willing to pass it, including

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calls into question whether the image is replaceable according to the rationale.

14592:

Why did KFC initially only open locations in England and not the rest of the UK?

14072:

a huge amount of content copied wholesale from other websites by the nominator,—

12666: 12652: 12575: 12534: 12509: 7974:"and he called him a "wonderfully able scout"" Who called who? Make this clearer 7661:

Charterhouse should have a wikilink. It is also not in London but in Surrey (it

7014:

Why don't we give Carrington's full name? Why don't we wikilink him in the body?

5666:

Native American issues fixed. I believe all the issues have now been addressed.

5301:

After this expedition he was elected a fellow of the Royal Geographical Society.

4162:

one "skeptical": certainly not something that substantiates the text as written.

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I also defend the reliability of the Seims article. This was first published in

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I've addressed all. I'm still fixing it. Please wait for me until it's done. —

15501:

is the name of a publication published by Crain Communications. In footnote 2,

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this to the article and the a source reference. Tomorrow I'll work on item 1.

9145: 8464: 7288:"Burnham would arrive at the front" Why not simply "Burnham reached the front"? 5807: 5773: 5701: 5652: 5621: 5605: 5591: 5577: 5563: 5551: 5536: 5513: 4964:

Italics issues have been addressed. Question on dash posed in the above issue.

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I had an image before but it was removed, license will I need if I upload one?

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newspaper would be the university, not the city where the campus is located.)

8837:

You don't need to say Johannesburg, South Africa, people know where Jo'burg is

2213:

Unfortunately, I have not been able to track down a hard copy of the issue of

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The word "appearances" could be omitted from the next sentence to tighten it.

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Changed to "College Football at Sports-Reference.com", removed 96 years part.

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Please collapse the "Rear camera" and "Connectivity" features in the infobox.

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as it is clear from the context; saying she immigrated from England is enough

5918:

Added a break after place of death. A bit of a kluge but it does the trick.

5763:

In "Klondike Gold Rush", it's a bit confusing about how many children he has.

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copy-edited as much and it wasn't a GA then. Looking forward for the review.

17140:-- I'm afraid this nom has stalled so I'll be archiving it shortly. Cheers, 16519:"with the keyhole towers being the centerpiece." This is one of those pesky 15015:

His standards were high, commenting "perfection is just barely good enough",

8695:

born in Bulawayo; she died of fever and starvation during the town's siege."

1994:

the Seims article, on which you lean quite heavily. I don't see anything at

635:

I am nominating this for featured article because it is a sister article to

296:

Okay I combined/removed some section headers. Added a bit more to the lede.

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The current infobox also has problems from an in-universe perspective (see

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All in all the sources are fine if the formatting glitches are cleared up.

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was a place of "atrocities" comparable to the Bangladesh rapes (a piece of

3139:

More: Grammar and prose is poor overall (see copyedits I had to make here:

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Don't get why a mere two sentences would constitute an oppose vote though.

13195:

Misunderstanding, nothing to see, move along please ladies and gentlemen.

7179:"Field Marshal Roberts was appointed" Who is Roberts? Not even a wikilink? 4445:

Bangladeshi government-mandated victim relief programme, supported by the

3726:

Do we really need to include the actions of Mukti Bahini in the lead? Per

1411:

There are several tags in the article (even apart from the ones I added).

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is the only time that it needs to be linked. Ditto all other such links.

15310: 15255: 15227: 15199: 15171: 15137: 15109: 15081: 15053: 15025: 14997: 14969: 14924: 14896: 14864: 14831: 14787: 14759: 14731: 14703: 14678: 14653: 14628: 14600: 14575: 14550: 14525: 14463: 14444: 14397: 14366: 14335: 14304: 14267: 14233: 14215: 14204: 14133: 13807: 13680: 13021: 12822: 12728:"However, it failed to gain success on charts worldwide." Please rephase. 12513: 12495: 12423: 12364: 12346: 12329: 12247: 12186:

this article for FA status as I believe it meets all requirements. Best,

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Compared to the current wording, my suggestion can shave off 13 words. --

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I've added more context here and edited the passage. I hope this helps.

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Have you pinged Nikki lately to see how she feels about the nom? Cheers,

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The URL to minernews went dead during the FAC. I'll need to substitute.

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Some have, but others have not: for example "3 year old ...12-year old",

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I see quite a few issues here, including some unresolved since first FAC.

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File:PSM_V25_D738_John_William_Strutt_Lord_Rayleigh.jpg needs a US PD tag

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pending thorough spotchecks - after a connection was made from here to a

14916:—roofs can't expand, replace first comma by "and", add comma after roofs 6941:"due to the ill-fated Jameson Raid" Maybe mention was into the Transvaal 5527:

An initial wikignoming glance raised the following minor issues for me:

2595:

But thanks to the wonderful world of echo we shall still ask as expert.

643:, both FAs, and I believe it has now been brought to the same standard. 14618:

Louisville, Kentucky, United States, which specializes in fried chicken

14266:

I have replaced the old style KFC in the UK section to a new style one.

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Footnote 19: can you verify if the title of the paper at that time was

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Either include the publishers in all the references or, leave them out.

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oil man? Why not just oil man? American spy should probably be U.S. spy

4300:

So that ought to resopve that issue. Should I add that to the article?

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and added the missing ISBNs. Thank you for your constructive comments!

1913:

If that's true then it shouldn't have been a ref at one point either.

17053: 17007: 16986: 12662: 12648: 12571: 12530: 12505: 9121:- all OK (OTRS, PD-age, PD-USGov-USGS). Sources and authors provided. 3149:, or the example about the estimates of pregnancies mentioned above). 2515:

Writing to The New York Times a group of women -add comma after Times.

1977:

Mostly looking at references and reference formatting for the moment:

16461:, I just want to make sure you haven't forgotten about this review.-- 14053:

when it got GA status. It has deteriorated significantly since then.—

11952: 11360:" for its masthead, so I'm going to refrain from changing it for now. 5757:. I made some copyedits and have a few questions before supporting: 2560:

one is kinda brutal, but a good depiction of what they went through.

966:'to be taken "as is" and transformed directly' - what does this mean? 16949: