396:, Swartzwelder was granted a special dispensation and allowed not to attend rewrite sessions with the rest of the staff, instead being allowed to send drafts of his scripts in from home so other writers could revise them as they saw fit. This was reportedly a result of Swartzwelder's heavy smoking coming into conflict with a newly implemented policy banning smoking in the writers' room. Swartzwelder's scripts typically needed less rewriting than those of other writers, with about 50% being used.
362:. Why can't they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?" It's a horrifying idea juxtaposed with something really banal — and yet there's a kind of logic to it. It's illuminating because it's kind of how Americans see things: life's a big jumble, but somehow it leads to something I can consume. I love that.
411:
episodes sitting in a booth at a coffee shop "drinking copious amounts of coffee and smoking endless cigarettes". When
California passed an anti-smoking law, Swartzwelder bought the booth and installed it in his house, allowing him to continue his process in peace. In his only interview, given to
716:
writer (or any comedy writer) can receive is to have a joke referred to as 'Swartzweldian.' Meaning: A joke that comes out of nowhere. A joke that no one else could have written. A joke that sounds almost as if it were never written, as if it’s always existed." Sacks cites the following, from
640:
called
Swartzwelder's home. After presumably speaking with him for a minute, the man on the other end of the phone said, "It's too bad this really isn't John Swartzwelder." Scully and the others laughed, replied "Bye, John". After he had hung up, Scully said, "I know he's gonna sue us."
699:
about
Swartzwelder, extolling him as "one of the greatest comedy minds of all time. He is the comedy writer whose words makes the best comedy writers in the world laugh out loud." George Meyer said: "Even among comedy weirdos, he stands out. He's irreplaceable." Fellow writer
291:. After he contacted Swartzwelder's mother in Seattle, she redirected him to her son, who was then working at an advertising agency in Chicago. Downey described Swartzwelder's interview as "one of the most spectacularly awful in history"; it consisted of him entering
627:
once invited
Swartzwelder to make a brief appearance in a prerecorded bit in which he would be asked if he wanted to take part, to which he would respond with "No" as an ironic punchline, but he refused. During the recording of the 2006 commentary for the
33:
239:
was conjuring dark characters from a strange, old
America: banjo-playing hobos, cigarette-smoking ventriloquist dummies, nineteenth-century baseball players, rat-tailed carnival children, and pantsless, singing old-timers."
483:") was a "holdover" written for the fourteenth (2002–03) season. At 59 episodes, Swartzwelder has written more episodes of the show than any other crew member by a significant margin. Swartzwelder returned to contribute to
418:
in 2021, Swartzwelder said he had negotiated his contract to allow him to work from home, but that this had nothing to do with smoking; he also said he bought a new booth, rather than one from the diner.
740:, which prompted Groening to state that anytime that David Crosby appears in a scene for no apparent reason, it is really Swartzwelder. Groening said that the appearance of the character
549:
in 2012. In 2014, a children's book written in the late 1970s by
Swartzwelder and illustrated by David Schutten was published by Green House Books. Swartzwelder self-publishes his books.
2740:
605:
for when writers did not want to take credit for an episode, or for episodes that were penned by several writers in concert. Comedy writer Mike Sacks described
Swartzwelder as the "
214:
episodes (59 full episodes, with contributions to several others) by a large margin. After his retirement from the show, he began a career as a writer of self-published
2278:
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2005:
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332:, Swartzwelder became known for writing odder material. He was fired in mid-1986, which Smigel attributed to the network's pressure on show creator
2164:
2542:
2952:
295:'s office without permission, and discussing the state of television (that it was "all shit") while smoking and drinking. He was not hired for
225:
Swartzwelder is revered among comedy fans and his colleagues. He is known for his reclusiveness, and gave his first-ever interview in 2021, in
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and the writers whose work it has published. Swartzwelder said he was humbled by the praise he has received from colleagues and
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writes "It’s been nearly twenty years since the reclusive, mysterious, almost mythical comedy writer John
Swartzwelder left
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252:, on February 8, 1949, the son of Gloria Mae (Matthews) and John Joseph Swartzwelder, Sr. He attended high school in
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2489:"#TheSimpsons fans rejoice! John Swartzwelder is officially on Twitter @JJSwartzwelderpic.twitter.com/jBCYhPC73s"
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173:, Swartzwelder began his career working in advertising. He was later hired to work on comedy series
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2543:"'Simpsons' Legendary Writer John Swartzwelder Discusses Darkest Episode in First Major Interview"
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2310:"Watch Pistol Pete, a failed pilot from Simpsons legend John Swartzwelder · Great Job, Internet!"
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The only rule was that the stuff had to be funny and pretty short. To me, the quintessential
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I actually shared a room with this guy John
Swartzwelder, a legendary Simpsons writer.
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related a story of
Swartzwelder going on an extended diatribe about how there is more
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2075:
2010:
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debated his existence online; some theorized that "John Swartzwelder" was actually a
597:
Swartzwelder is reclusive, and rarely makes media appearances. At one point, fans of
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456:
287:
traced Swartzwelder based on the Chicago postmark on the card via phone books at the
215:
124:
2518:"Legendary Simpsons writer John Swartzwelder is using Twitter in the best/worst way"
2026:"Renton High School - Illahee Yearbook (Renton, WA), Class of 1966, Page 137 of 232"
2608:
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encouraged fans to keep track of the writers of their favorite television shows.
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1983:
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422:
In 1996, Swartzwelder created and produced his own pilot presentation for Fox,
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227:
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described Swartzwelder as "the best writer in the world today in any medium".
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Groening, Matt; Jean, Al; Reiss, Mike; Lapidus, Adam; Moore, Rich (2004).
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colleagues. The account mostly tweets excerpts from Swartzwelder's books.
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The Simpsons The Complete Seventh Season DVD commentary for the episode "
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465:
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The Simpsons The Complete Fourth Season DVD commentary for the episode "
2432:
The Simpsons The Complete Eighth Season DVD commentary for the episode "
2219:
The Simpsons The Complete Eighth Season DVD commentary for the episode "
732:
Swartzwelder has been animated in the background of several episodes of
721:": "To alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!"
2711:
2607:
The Simpsons The Complete First Season DVD commentary for the episode "
2470:
The Simpsons The Complete Ninth Season DVD commentary for the episode "
2341:
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705:
665:. Swartzwelder said he agreed to the interview out of his fondness for
656:
232:
933:
Additional credit for lyrics on "Spider Pig" and "Springfield Anthem"
1826:
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602:
381:
218:. He has written more than a dozen novels, the most recent of which,
128:
2725:
388:, recruited Swartzwelder and Meyer to write for the animated sitcom
179:
in the mid-1980s as a writer. He later contributed to fellow writer
440:
160:
78:
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writers have spoken highly of his writing and impact on the show.
468:. Fox passed on the pilot. It eventually surfaced online in 2014.
2720:
2371:
2060:
Poking a Dead Frog: Conversations with Today's Top Comedy Writers
645:
2706:
2067:
577:
episodes, he has been described as an "anti-environmentalist".
277:
In 1983, Swartzwelder sent a joke submission to the writers of
2678:
And Here's the Kicker: Conversations with 21 Top Humor Writers
2279:"Pilot Error: The Legend of John Swartzwelder's 'Pistol Pete'"
744:
was based on Swartzwelder, with the exception of his one arm.
200:
as a writer and producer until 2003, and later contributed to
612:
Swartzwelder declined several requests to participate in the
189:
magazine, which led him to join the original writing team of
655:
In 2021, Swartzwelder gave his only interview to date, with
648:
account. It was confirmed official by several of his former
163:, best known for his work on the animated television series
438:, the pilot was shot using crew from the television series
346:, recruiting Swartzwelder to help write it. Meyer said of
2197:
Owen, David (March 13, 2000). "Taking Humour Seriously".
712:, and yet, to this day, one of the biggest compliments a
519:, a Western, before returning to the Burly character for
2561:"Simpsons writer John Swartzwelder gives rare interview"
871:
Writer, 59 episodes, story editor, consultant, producer
787:
Stars as a pirate in December 7, 1985 episode hosted by
358:
joke was one of John Swartzwelder's: "They can kill the
2647:"December 7, 1985 – John Lithgow / Mr. Mister (S11 E4)"
2146:
2144:
2142:
2093:
2091:
426:, a spoof of western films. Starring Stephen Kearney,
1015:
Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish
2461:
2425:
2423:
2139:
2088:
736:. His animated likeness closely resembles musician
685:Swartzwelder is revered among comedy fans. Fellow
322:, who later proved instrumental in hiring him for
569:advocate, and despite having written many of the
283:, in which he signed but left no address. Writer
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16:American comedy writer and novelist (born 1949)
2212:
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1968:
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1962:
1960:
1958:
1791:The Squirrel Who Saved Practically Everybody
2773:
2625:"Saturday Night Live S11E04 - John Lithgow"
2511:
2509:
2207:
1859:"Homer's Nightmare" segment, with Sam Simon
589:on Earth now than there was 100 years ago.
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366:
31:
2468:Scully, Mike; Swartzwelder, John (2006).
2442:
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1955:
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515:Frank Burly. The next year he published
464:, directed the pilot, which was shot at
448:, veteran television director known for
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1902:
1900:
1780:(2014; illustrated by David Schutten):
1751:"The Monster That Wouldn't Sink" (2015)
557:Swartzwelder has been referred to as a
492:
155:(born February 8, 1949) is an American
37:Swartzwelder in a 1992 staff photo for
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336:to make personnel changes. Meyer quit
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2953:Screenwriters from Washington (state)
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2307:
2242:
2165:"In the Limelight: John Swartzwelder"
2150:
2109:
2097:
2044:
1548:(as Triple Admiral John Swartzwelder)
479:(2003–04). His last airing episode ("
314:, Swartzwelder shared an office with
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1875:
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957:
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886:Creator, executive producer, writer
501:, Swartzwelder has taken up writing
2903:21st-century American screenwriters
2888:20th-century American screenwriters
2372:"Humor Novels By John Swartzwelder"
2229:
13:
2893:21st-century American male writers
2883:20th-century American male writers
2308:Adams, Erik (September 17, 2014).
1370:Homer Simpson in: 'Kidney Trouble'
1300:Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment
719:Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment
552:
222:, was published in December 2020.
14:
2979:
2948:Novelists from Washington (state)
2764:
2700:
2516:Barsanti, Sam (August 16, 2016).
2340:
1972:
1095:Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?
673:fans, and that he was proud that
2933:American male television writers
2820:
2487:Ledesma, Chris (July 31, 2016).
2110:Rabin, Nathan (August 4, 2004).
1745:
1025:Itchy & Scratchy & Marge
952:episodes written by Swartzwelder
644:In 2016, Swartzwelder created a
592:
2898:21st-century American novelists
2639:
2617:
2553:
2535:
2480:
1570:
1360:The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace
1105:Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie
280:Late Night with David Letterman
235:, "Swartzwelder’s specialty on
2943:People from Renton, Washington
2277:Harris, Will (June 27, 2013).
2163:Finley, Adam (March 3, 2006).
2018:
1998:
1870:Attack of the 50-Foot Eyesores
1758:
1575:
1452:The Computer Wore Menace Shoes
747:
444:at Swartzwelder's insistence.
1:
2248:"How 'The Simpsons' Survives"
1908:"John Swartzwelder Biography"
1891:
1532:Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington
752:
243:
2006:"John Swartzwelder Obituary"
1975:"John Swartzwelder, sage of
1754:"Earth's Biggest Fan" (2015)
1680:The Million Dollar Policeman
1241:(as Scary John Swartzwelder)
547:The Million Dollar Policeman
466:Veluzat Motion Picture Ranch
153:John Joseph Swartzwelder Jr.
49:John Joseph Swartzwelder Jr.
7:
2938:American television writers
2928:American male screenwriters
2651:The 'One SNL a Day' Project
1602:How I Conquered Your Planet
1492:The Lastest Gun in the West
1482:A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love
521:How I Conquered Your Planet
392:. By 1994, with the show's
299:, but Downey hired him for
10:
2984:
2668:
1442:A Tale of Two Springfields
1432:Kill the Alligator and Run
373:
270:
2819:
2799:
2772:
2763:
2221:Grade School Confidential
1582:
1270:The Day the Violence Died
1185:Itchy & Scratchy Land
1175:The Boy Who Knew Too Much
680:
340:and created the magazine
259:
248:Swartzwelder was born in
134:
108:
84:
70:
45:
30:
23:
2613:(DVD). 20th Century Fox.
2594:(DVD). 20th Century Fox.
2476:(DVD). 20th Century Fox.
2457:(DVD). 20th Century Fox.
2438:(DVD). 20th Century Fox.
2434:The Old Man and the Lisa
2430:Cohen, David X. (2006).
2401:"Swartzwelder the Great"
2225:(DVD). 20th Century Fox.
1804:
1667:The Fifty Foot Detective
1654:The Last Detective Alive
1628:Dead Men Scare Me Stupid
1310:The Old Man and the Lisa
975:The Call of the Simpsons
891:Fox Broadcasting Company
543:The Fifty Foot Detective
539:The Last Detective Alive
531:Dead Men Scare Me Stupid
2968:American male comedians
2923:American male novelists
2908:American comedy writers
2790:The Exploding Detective
2783:The Time Machine Did It
2605:Groening, Matt (2001).
2586:Groening, Matt (2005).
2217:Groening, Matt (2006).
1732:Dead Detective Mountain
1615:The Exploding Detective
1589:The Time Machine Did It
1542:Treehouse of Horror XIV
1402:Monty Can't Buy Me Love
1045:The War of the Simpsons
898:
526:The Exploding Detective
508:The Time Machine Did It
289:New York Public Library
2963:Comedians from Seattle
2774:The Frank Burly series
2547:The Hollywood Reporter
1235:Treehouse of Horror VI
1065:Treehouse of Horror II
1035:Bart Gets Hit by a Car
609:of the comedy world".
451:The Dick Van Dyke Show
364:
2918:American libertarians
2322:on September 19, 2014
1719:The Spy with No Pants
1553:The Regina Monologues
1502:I Am Furious (Yellow)
1165:Bart Gets an Elephant
1125:Krusty Gets Kancelled
985:Life on the Fast Lane
693:wrote an article for
623:. Executive producer
481:The Regina Monologues
407:, Swartzwelder wrote
352:
328:. During his time on
307:) beginning in 1985.
220:The Spy with No Pants
193:, beginning in 1989.
2707:JohnSwartzwelder.com
2676:Sacks, Mike (2014).
2472:The Cartridge Family
2246:(November 4, 2001).
2058:Sacks, Mike (2014).
2032:. Renton, Washington
1937:The Simpsons Archive
1933:"Episodes by writer"
1462:Hungry, Hungry Homer
1412:Take My Wife, Sleaze
1330:The Cartridge Family
784:Writer, 18 episodes
634:The Cartridge Family
513:private investigator
493:2004–present: Novels
489:, released in 2007.
2830:Saturday Night Live
2721:Frank Burly website
2345:"John Swartzwelder"
2175:on December 1, 2006
2064:City of Westminster
1881:Teleplay, story by
1693:Detective Made Easy
1641:Earth vs. Everybody
1290:Mountain of Madness
1280:You Only Move Twice
1145:Homer the Vigilante
1005:Treehouse of Horror
995:The Crepes of Wrath
779:Saturday Night Live
535:Earth vs. Everybody
301:Saturday Night Live
273:Saturday Night Live
266:Saturday Night Live
250:Seattle, Washington
176:Saturday Night Live
171:Seattle, Washington
113:Observational humor
64:Seattle, Washington
2913:American humorists
2851:The Simpsons Movie
2627:. December 7, 1985
2493:@mxedtr on Twitter
2399:(April 12, 2008).
2374:. Kenny Dale Books
2350:The New York Times
2289:on October 5, 2014
2074:. pp. 16–18.
1422:The Mansion Family
1392:Maximum Homerdrive
1260:Homer the Smithers
925:The Simpsons Movie
854:Writer, 1 episode
839:Writer, 1 episode
822:Writer, 1 episode
805:Writer, 1 episode
614:audio commentaries
486:The Simpsons Movie
471:Swartzwelder left
436:Brian Doyle Murray
254:Renton, Washington
203:The Simpsons Movie
2860:
2859:
2815:
2814:
2757:John Swartzwelder
2712:John Swartzwelder
2684:: Writers House.
2011:The Seattle Times
1778:The Animal Report
1567:
1566:
1055:Bart the Murderer
937:
936:
896:
895:
889:Unsold pilot for
457:All in the Family
150:
149:
125:detective fiction
75:Television writer
25:John Swartzwelder
2975:
2770:
2769:
2750:
2743:
2736:
2727:
2726:
2695:
2663:
2662:
2660:
2658:
2653:. March 15, 2019
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2615:
2614:
2609:Bart the General
2602:
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2379:
2368:
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2357:
2338:
2332:
2331:
2329:
2327:
2318:. Archived from
2305:
2299:
2298:
2296:
2294:
2285:. Archived from
2274:
2265:
2264:
2262:
2260:
2240:
2227:
2226:
2214:
2205:
2204:
2194:
2185:
2184:
2182:
2180:
2171:. Archived from
2160:
2154:
2148:
2137:
2136:
2131:
2129:
2120:. Archived from
2107:
2101:
2095:
2086:
2085:
2055:
2042:
2041:
2039:
2037:
2022:
2016:
2015:
2014:. April 4, 2012.
2002:
1996:
1995:
1993:
1991:
1970:
1953:
1952:
1950:
1948:
1943:on July 10, 2007
1939:. Archived from
1929:
1923:
1922:
1920:
1918:
1904:
1885:
1879:
1873:
1866:
1860:
1857:
1851:
1848:
1842:
1835:
1829:
1815:
1765:Double Wonderful
1558:
1547:
1537:
1527:
1517:
1512:The Sweetest Apu
1507:
1497:
1487:
1477:
1467:
1457:
1447:
1437:
1427:
1417:
1407:
1397:
1387:
1382:Homer to the Max
1377:
1374:
1365:
1355:
1350:King of the Hill
1345:
1335:
1325:
1315:
1305:
1295:
1285:
1275:
1265:
1251:
1240:
1230:
1220:
1210:
1200:
1190:
1180:
1170:
1160:
1155:Bart Gets Famous
1150:
1140:
1130:
1120:
1110:
1100:
1090:
1080:
1075:Homer at the Bat
1070:
1060:
1050:
1040:
1030:
1020:
1010:
1000:
990:
980:
970:
965:Bart the General
958:
903:
902:
757:
756:
561:and a "hardcore
517:Double Wonderful
503:absurdist novels
477:fifteenth season
432:Lisa Robin Kelly
216:absurdist novels
103:
95:
61:
58:February 8, 1949
57:
55:
35:
21:
20:
2983:
2982:
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1557:(EABF22) (2003)
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1546:(EABF21) (2003)
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1536:(EABF09) (2003)
1535:
1526:(DABF16) (2002)
1525:
1522:The Frying Game
1516:(DABF14) (2002)
1515:
1506:(DABF13) (2002)
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1496:(DABF07) (2002)
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1486:(CABF18) (2001)
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755:
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636:", show runner
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2153:, p. 373.
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2124:on May 5, 2006
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1984:The New Yorker
1954:
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1850:With Sam Simon
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662:The New Yorker
607:Thomas Pynchon
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497:Since leaving
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384:, a reader of
374:Main article:
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2567:. May 2, 2021
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2117:The A.V. Club
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2072:Penguin Books
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1354:(5F16) (1998)
1351:
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1344:(5F08) (1998)
1341:
1337:
1334:(5F01) (1997)
1331:
1327:
1324:(4F19) (1997)
1321:
1320:Homer's Enemy
1317:
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1304:(4F15) (1997)
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1246:Bart the Fink
1243:
1239:(3F04) (1995)
1236:
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1229:(2F17) (1995)
1226:
1222:
1219:(2F12) (1995)
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1206:
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1199:(2F09) (1995)
1196:
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1189:(2F01) (1994)
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1179:(1F19) (1994)
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1166:
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1159:(1F11) (1994)
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1119:(9F18) (1993)
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1109:(9F03) (1992)
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2837:The Simpsons
2835:
2828:
2788:
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2756:
2677:
2655:. Retrieved
2650:
2641:
2629:. Retrieved
2619:
2606:
2600:
2587:
2581:
2569:. Retrieved
2564:
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2525:. Retrieved
2521:
2496:. Retrieved
2492:
2482:
2469:
2463:
2450:
2444:
2431:
2410:. Retrieved
2404:
2397:Selman, Matt
2376:. Retrieved
2366:
2354:. Retrieved
2348:
2342:Scott, A. O.
2336:
2324:. Retrieved
2320:the original
2313:
2303:
2291:. Retrieved
2287:the original
2282:
2257:. Retrieved
2251:
2244:Scott, A. O.
2218:
2198:
2177:. Retrieved
2173:the original
2168:
2158:
2133:
2126:. Retrieved
2122:the original
2115:
2105:
2059:
2034:. Retrieved
2029:
2020:
2009:
2000:
1988:. Retrieved
1982:
1977:The Simpsons
1976:
1945:. Retrieved
1941:the original
1927:
1915:. Retrieved
1911:
1877:
1864:
1855:
1846:
1833:
1819:George Meyer
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1571:Bibliography
1561:
1205:Bart's Comet
1115:Whacking Day
1085:Dog of Death
950:The Simpsons
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866:The Simpsons
864:
850:The Dictator
849:
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789:John Lithgow
777:
738:David Crosby
734:The Simpsons
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727:The Simpsons
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709:
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675:The Simpsons
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630:ninth-season
625:David Mirkin
619:The Simpsons
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104:2004–present
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2873:1949 births
2821:Filmography
2807:Frank Burly
2527:January 14,
2498:January 14,
2326:October 12,
2179:October 12,
2128:October 12,
2036:October 12,
1917:October 12,
1883:Bob Kushell
1759:Standalones
1577:Frank Burly
882:Pistol Pete
748:Filmography
702:Dan Greaney
691:Matt Selman
638:Mike Scully
583:David Cohen
565:". He is a
559:libertarian
428:Mark Derwin
424:Pistol Pete
367:1988–2004:
145:Frank Burly
2867:Categories
2800:Characters
2151:Sacks 2014
2098:Sacks 2014
2030:E-Yearbook
1892:References
1340:Bart Carny
861:1989–2003
753:Television
706:Mike Sacks
657:Mike Sacks
587:rainforest
567:gun rights
475:after the
318:, and met
285:Jim Downey
244:Early life
233:Mike Sacks
169:. Born in
71:Occupation
54:1949-02-08
2453:The Front
1872:" segment
1841:" segment
1827:Jon Vitti
1823:Sam Simon
800:Nightlife
632:episode "
603:pseudonym
541:in 2010,
537:in 2009,
533:in 2008,
529:in 2007,
523:in 2006,
511:starring
446:John Rich
382:Sam Simon
380:In 1988,
297:Letterman
129:absurdism
2843:episodes
2682:New York
2412:June 29,
2293:June 29,
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1947:July 10,
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943:episodes
941:Simpsons
774:1985–86
714:Simpsons
687:Simpsons
671:Simpsons
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621:DVD sets
579:Simpsons
575:Simpsons
462:Gunsmoke
441:Gunsmoke
409:Simpsons
403:creator
401:Simpsons
386:Army Man
360:Kennedys
356:Army Man
348:Army Man
343:Army Man
212:Simpsons
186:Army Man
161:novelist
79:novelist
2669:Sources
2657:May 23,
2631:May 23,
2169:tvsquad
1135:Rosebud
930:Writer
646:Twitter
581:writer
573:themed
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681:Legacy
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260:Career
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2765:Books
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909:Film
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878:1996
846:1988
829:1988
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760:Year
109:Genre
2716:IMDb
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2659:2021
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2573:2021
2529:2018
2522:News
2500:2018
2414:2015
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2380:2007
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2328:2016
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2181:2016
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2076:ISBN
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1992:2021
1949:2007
1919:2016
1825:and
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899:Film
696:Time
159:and
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2714:at
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616:on
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